Health

Health goes beyond the risk factors or disease counts established by our contemporary Western medical system. I try not to negate our medical system too much (because I am a consumer of it), but I do agree that sometimes a wider lens is needed. As I was researching how depression and anxiety is viewed in different cultures, I came across this quote:


"Academic epidemiology has limited itself to a narrow biomedical perspective, thereby committing the fallacy of inferring that disease in populations can be understood by studying the risk factors for disease in individuals. Epidemiology should be redefined as a study of the distribution and societal determinants of the health of the populations. This definition provides a stronger link to the primary mission of public health and places and appropriate emphasis on the social, economic, environmental, and cultural determinants of population health."
(SHY, C. M. 1997. The failure of academic epidemiology: witness for prosecution. American Journal of Epidemiology, 145, 479–484.)


There must be a reason why individuals who live in poverty, or who live near environmental pollutants, or who are discriminated against have poorer health according to various health and quality of life indicators. Maybe we should start looking at these reasons...

Stronger

Not only am I gaining a valuable educational experience here in Missoula, but I am growing stronger, becoming more independent, and gaining more self-knowledge each and every day.  I spent the whole day doing things on my own.  Believe me, this is a big step for me.  I thrive in the company of others.  I have never been great at doing things on my own. That being said, I wouldn't consider myself "dependent."  I just like company.  I think that distinction makes sense.  But back to today...I went to the Farmers Market, grabbed a coffee, did some major studying, fixed dinner, and then watched a few movies with my roommate (yeah, this probably counts as company, but there was not a lot of interaction going on).  I missed Casey, of course, and wished I was hanging out with him and his family, but I realized today...that I can do this, and I will do this. 

Being on my own for just the past eight weeks has allowed me to learn so much about myself.  I am finding out more about what I want, what I need, and who I am all of the time.  I am so thankful that I am getting this experience to grow stronger and develop more faith in who I am before settling down into a marriage or a lifetime with someone.  I am so glad that I took this leap of faith for not only me, but for my future spouse and family.  I know that if I would have chosen the alternative, that I would run the risk of being dependent on someone else, and dissolve in a relationship because I wouldn't know who I really am.  This experience is giving me that opportunity...the opportunity to know the real Emily.  When Casey and I are fortunate enough to start our lives together in the same town, we will each have a strong sense about who we are, and we will know what we can give, what we want, and what we need.  All crucial components of a long term relationship, or a marriage for that matter.

Favorite images of fall

Garden tomatoes by the hundreds

Changing leaves

Football games

Perspective

I just want to give a shout out to my blog readers.  I love your comments and how they encourage me to view things from a different perspective. 

What do you want to do after that?

Seriously, if I had the answer to this question right now I would be a millionaire.  It really is the "million-dollar" question.  It seems that everyone these days wants the answer to it.  But, GAH! I don't know what I want to do.  To all of you out there who have asked me this, it is okay, I don't mind the curiosity, but this obsession about the future becomes burdensome.  I wish people would ask, instead, "how is graduate school, are you meeting great people from all walks of life, and are you gaining knowledge and different perspectives?"  This is what I want to focus on...the present.  The here and the now.  The future is great.  But it is obviously inevitable, so let's not worry so much about it.  I will figure out what I want to do after graduate school when the time comes.  Yes, some people do know what they want to do after they graduate (and I of course have a vague sense of what that might be), but hopefully they too are still living in the moment, soaking up the rich experience and all of it's glory. 

Yes, of course I sometimes too get wrapped up in the future and thinking about where I want to live, what I want to do, when I want to start a family.  But that will all happen on it's own...kind of.  You know what I mean.  What I mean is it is nothing I need to worry about right now.  It is okay to have goals-and I do.  But what is more important in many cases is those tiny steps that ultimately get you to the bigger goal.  For example, in order to graduate with my Master's degree and eventually go out into communities to educate people on how to be "well," I must first complete this weekend's bio-statistics homework, host my dad and boyfriend as they visit me in my new city, grade 135 undergraduate multiple choice exams, and study for my ridiculously detailed anthropology exam scheduled for Tuesday.  Tuesday is about as far in the future that I want to focus on...and maybe what I will be doing next weekend.  That is far enough.  The next weeks can be in the back of my mind, especially if what is coming up requires some planning, but in the front of my mind should be the here and the now.  To be exact, my mind should be on this blog post.  But because I have a little more space in the front of my mind...I will also include things like grading, hosting, and studying. 

My mom gave me a card before I headed off to Missoula that says, "The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."-Buddha

This quote has stuck with me through these first six weeks in Missoula.  Whenever I get caught up in planning or stressing, I remember that card from my mom, and my perspective (and sanity [what is sanity anyway?!]) returns.  But I am human, and I have my moments as well. 

So true

"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."-Marion C. Garretty

Thanks mom.

My world

These two men mean the world to me.  I am so blessed that they are both coming to visit me this weekend.  Watch out Missoula breweries, restaurants and sporting events...here we come!

Frozen

Why do I freeze up in class discussions?

You would think that after four years of college classes, a fairly intelligent person (with a little experience to boot) would be able to contribute to a conversation in a graduate school course.  But no. I freeze up every time, or provide useless feedback.  I'm working on it. I have never been one to talk in group settings.  Not a characteristic I'm proud of.  If anyone can think of any advantages not being able to talk in a group setting or not being able to add to a conversation (that I know a lot about), please feel free to share! I'd love to hear.  At least I'm starting to give my input...it just doesn't make sense yet. 

I think I'm intimidated.  But I need to get over it. Seriously.

Ups and downs

Some days are good, some days are not so good.  Funny how life is that way.  Normally I would consider myself a pretty stable and positive person, but then there are days where I feel:
lonely
negative
bitter
angry
disengaged
snappy
insecure
sensitive
fragile
crabby
somber
It is the "down" days that make me remember to count my blessings and be thankful for the positive, upbeat days. While I'm feeling all of those emotions, I try to remain calm and think to myself: tomorrow will be different.  And sure enough, it always is.  To all those who have been in my life on those "down" days: I'm sorry, but thanks for sticking it out and loving me during my worst and best.  Thanks, Casey.

Graduate school...

"isn't about the studying and the thesis, it's about the trip to Great Falls, MT to visit the Sip & Dip and to see the mermaids with your classmates..."  One of my professors said this to a few of us who gathered last night at a local bar/restaurant to say good-bye to two of the girls who just finished their Masters in the Health Promotion.  After she said this I glanced at her to determine whether she was serious or joking...and she was dead serious.  I got to thinking about this a little more...and she is right.  If I can make new friends, explore new things, and have a good time, the rest will fall into place.  Of course, I need to give myself ample time to study and do the thesis, but if I am happy and healthy in other aspects of my life, it will come almost naturally.  I think most people can do better work when they are happy.  Happiness just puts you in a better state of mind, and in a better place to be successful than if you were sad, lonely or cranky.  I loved that she said this.  I think it is so true. 

*For those who are wondering, I have never been to Great Falls, but apparently it is not a very exciting town, EXCEPT for the Sip & Dip.  I am told there is always a line out the door to get in, and that they have great drinks.  AND, there are girls who dress as mermaids and swim in a tank behind the bar all night.  I wonder how they breathe.  Do they come up for air every few minutes?...that wouldn't be very real-like because mermaids do not have to do that.  Do they wear scuba gear so they can stay under the whole time?...Tacky!! I will never know until I visit Great Falls.  Our classmate Kelly just got engaged, and she said she wouldn't mind her bachelorette party being at the infamous Sip & Dip.  Actually, according to Kelly, the Sip & Dip was rated as one of the best bars in the west in the men's magazine, Maxim.  I don't know whether that's a good thing or not....