Crazy Ride

I wish my blog was somehow connected to my life...then you could really get a sense of what is happening on my crazy ride called life.  I know that my situation is not unique; obviously, others are busy, too.  But, for the first time in my life, I feel a little bit out of control. That is, until I take moments like these to sit down and just...write (I have in fact been doing a lot of writing these days, but not this type).  First, I want to just regurgitate it all out there...this is what I've been up to the past few weeks:

developing program strategies, writing evaluation plans, looking at wedding dresses, apartment hunting, teaching class, grading papers, loving Casey, celebrating my golden birthday, car shopping, setting up a summer job, planning for summer trip to Norway, visiting waste water treatment facilities (ew), drinking coffee, researching Mongolia, discussing environmental health, working on wedding guest list, picking a wedding date, counseling a client for a health behavior change, making posters, blah blah blah, and sometimes...sleeping.

So I missed a few things, and sure, lots of you are like, "well, I do all those things, too."  I just want to say: I commend you.  It is crazy; but, I am thriving and loving it.  It also felt good to get it all out there.  Now, here are the top points, in more detail:

1) WEDDING! This has been the topic on my mind.  It creeps in while I should be working on other things.  It consumes my life basically.  But boy, do I love it! I have always been a tad obsessed with all things wedding.  And once I met Casey and we fell in love (yada, yada, yada!), I began to think that maybe, just maybe, a wedding was in my future.  I am thoroughly excited to spend forever with Mr. Tuschhoff.  And we have been in love with this process.  I will be even more in love when I can ogle over wedding books without feeling like I should be doing something different (i.e., working on schoolwork).  Casey is super excited for our Joseph wedding as well.  No date has been set-but keep September of 2012 open :)

2) Program Plan. In six short days, this process will be behind me...and ahead of me in that I will be planning health related programs potentially for the rest of my life!  But this class project has been a whirlwind of experiences, emotions, and trials.  Far too many to get into on this post.  But, next Tuesday, Kelly & I will be presenting our program plan, colloquium style, to our class. We believe we are setting the bar high.  After determining the quality of life issues, the health problem that relates to them, the behavioral and environmental factors that relate to the health problem, and the predisposing, enabling, and reinforcing factors that influence the behavioral and environmental factors (all via surveys, interviews, focus groups and research with the target population, their gatekeepers, and secondary data), we have developed a comprehensive program to combat the identified issues. Introducing "Walking on Sunshine," a multi part program incorporating a mentoring walking program, new workshops, social celebratory gatherings, incentives, and a social marketing campaign.  Whew.  It feels good to be so close, and really, we are quite proud of our hard work.  Fingers crossed, this program plan will carry over into my thesis experience in that I will be able to pilot test a portion of our planned program, and then evaluate it. 

3)  Golden birthday. I have been waiting for this day since one morning in my adolescent years when I heard Paul Harvey on the radio talking about "golden birthdays." It is the birthday when your age is the same as the date.  Thus, my golden birthday was April 23rd, as that was the day I turned 23.  Nevertheless, it was not all that it was cracked up to be-just another birthday! But it was still lovely.  My parents made the trek to Missoula.  We enjoyed copious amounts of delicious local foods, shopped, and my mother and I even peaked at wedding dresses (gasp!).  I missed Casey, but know that he made the right decision to stick close to home to spend more time with his sister who is in the Air Force in Italy (she was home on leave for just a little over a week). 

That's enough.  More details will come this summer as I hopefully have more time to free-write! And of course, wedding details will be shared as they come up!

(P.S. Just about 2 weeks until I am finished with my first year of graduate school!! CRAZY!)

Check!

I can already check two items off of my list of things to do before my 200th blog post.  Saturday of spring break I met my dear friend, Jessica, in Kennewick, WA for a night at Thompson Cellars Winery and Bed & Breakfast.  We had an amazing spa treatment, shopped, ate delicious food, and drank delicious wine. Lots of red wine, to be more specific.  So, check off, stay at a B&B, and drink more red wine. Although, I do hope to do these two things more over the next year or so.

Back to school work... I promise I will be a better blogger this summer.

Engaged

Some of you may know already, but...WE'RE ENGAGED!  I was totally shocked, and it still hasn't sunk in yet.  Wedding planning will begin as soon as I am out of school for the summer, but I can promise that the big day won't be until at least summer of 2012.

Stay tuned for details about the proposal, ring pictures, wedding blog, etc.  I would love to tell about it now, but the biggest exam of my graduate school career is later today, so I think I will use my time wisely.

Vegas in a nutshell...

...crazy, wild, loud, refreshing.

I flew from Missoula last weekend to meet Casey and his friends who were spending five days in Vegas.  I was only there for about two days, but nevertheless, I got a good view of what Vegas was all about.  It was absolutely a crazy and wild place...on the strip anyway.  There are always people walking around, drink in hand, and more often than not, dressed quite sparsely.  We honestly had a great time, but I will not be booking a flight back anytime soon.

The first destination was Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville for dinner. After waiting an hour to be seated (during this time we enjoyed our first $9.00 Margarita), dinner was quite enjoyable. And of course, there was a show while we were eating that consisted of a lady dressed in basically nothing dancing on a large ship and sliding down into a large drink.  Interesting to say the least.  After that we decided to keep walking down the strip (our hotel, the Riviera was at the far north end of the strip).  We watched the light and water show in front of the Bellagio, had a guy do magic tricks for us, splurged and bought the huge tourist slushy drinks (and felt quite sick afterwards), and checked to see if the Lions were out at the MGM (they weren't).  By that time we were exhausted after our day of travelling and taking in the first sights of the strip.  We decided to make our way back to the hotel.  Little did we know we had walked about three and a half miles down the strip.  It was late, we were tired and full of sugary drink, and there were hundreds of people out walking around...not to mention, we did not have appropriate shoes on.  After finally making it back, we all hit the hay...exhausted.

I don't think I can go into that much detail about the next day because if I did this might be the longest post ever.  Needless to say, we saw A LOT of Vegas in a short amount of time.  Highlights included visiting the wax museum, visiting a huge Forever 21 store in a huge mall, walking along the strip with a drink in hand, seeing a GREAT comedy show, dressing up, and just spending time together...all 8 of us.  It was great.

My last day there I made my way up to the Stratosphere.  It was a beautiful view, but I was feeling a little dizzy being up there.  I am not a fan of heights. Mid-afternoon it was time for me to head home.  Everyone else spent their next two days relaxing by the pool in the glorious weather and seeing more of the Vegas strip. 

Possibly the best part of the trip was getting to know Casey's closest friends even better...Josie, Josh, Brian (and girlfriend Erin), Bryce and John.  I really do love these guys, and I know we will continue to get to know each other even better as the years go on.  I would love more than anything to go on yearly trips with this group of friends.  I am so glad they (most of them) still live in the valley...where Casey and I plan on eventually living together.  I know we have lots of fun times ahead of us!

100th post

In honor of my 100th blog post I am doing a post a little different than usual. 

The following list represents the 10 things I am going to do between now and my next 100 posts.  These are not things that I usually do or have done before.  While I think comfort is great, I know that I want to push myself a little bit outside of that bubble.  Not too much...but a little bit.  These are not being done to prove myself to anyone or to grant the wishes of others that I become more out-going, extroverted, etc...because I cannot change those things, nor do I want to.  These are for solely my satisfaction (and maybe the satisfaction of those around me who will also reap the direct benefits).  So, before I reach my 200th post, these are the things I will do:

10.  Visit a foreign country or two. My family and I are scheduled to visit Norway in June of this year.  My first time in any place outside the United States (not counting a trip across the border to Tijuana, Mexico).
9. Go para-sailing.  To some this sounds like a relaxed and fun day on the lake.  For me, this will be exhilarating and a possible "just peed my pants" moment.  By no means am I a fan of water or heights, but for some reason, the thought of doing this kind of excites me.
8. Bake mini chocolate souffles.
7. Visit Yellowstone National Park.  It is SO close! I need to go before my time in Missoula comes to an end.
6.  Spend a night in a bed and breakfast.  I did with my  mom and sister when I was younger, but I would love to relax and eat a delicious breakfast with Casey or a dear friend.
5. Experience more red wine.
4. Snowshoe.  I've said this for a while and it could still happen this winter. 
3. Propose my thesis for graduate school.  This WILL happen (unless I get blog-happy and crank out 100 more posts in the near future), but who knows exactly when or what the topic will be...that is my goal for this summer to decide. 
2. Spend a summer in Clarkston.  I have been waiting to do this since this time last year.  And I think it is finally going to happen...I feel Clarkston has potential that I just need to discover.  We have become closer over the years, but it still hasn't convinced me it is the town for me.  I'm giving it another shot.
1. Plant a garden that thrives and produces wonderful and juicy fruits and vegetables.  I plan on starting seeds in a month or two!

[Side note: as noted, some of these aspirations are already planned, others not, and I will keep my vast audience of blog readers updated as I go!]

Breathe

Taking a second to take a deep breath.  I thought that writing a blog post was a good excuse to take a breather.  Between the weather, a needs assessment project for women who are homeless or in transitional housing, three other classes, a long distance relationship, the snow, a behavior change plan for an undergraduate student, instructing a beginning fitness class for 30+ (some not so motivated) students, some papers to grade, a weekend girls trip, ordering dissemination materials, looking up various state's HIV testing numbers, and the weather...I'm about spent.

I'm not looking for sympathy or judgment, just using this as a place to get it all out there and go on with my day.  It is six in the evening and still on the plan for today is Zumba, studying for tomorrow's exam, reading for tomorrow's discussion class, and getting a good night of rest.

That was a great deep breath and I actually feel a little rejuvenated...Hmm.

Independence vs. Loneliness

The two words have completely different meanings, but as I travel through this chapter in my life, the two notions often overlap or become interrelated.  I am certainly becoming more independent in the simplest sense of the word.  I now do things on my own- not always by choice, but because its the situation I am in right now.  I am here in Missoula, away from my closest family and friends.  I am going through this journey in this specific place independently.  That does not mean that I am going through my life independently, because that certainly is not true, I have many loved ones with me on that journey.  But in this specific journey in this specific place at this specific time in my life, I am alone.  I do have friends and acquaintances here in Missoula, but they have their own lives.  Their lives and mine have not completely integrated...yet.  I still have another year hear and I imagine I will be come closer with all of them-maybe even integrate myself into their lives.  In sum, this is an independent journey.  I am learning to be my own motivator, care-taker, and opinion maker, whereas before, I often relied on friends and loved ones to help motivate, offer their opinions, and we took care of each other.  That is what I mean by independent.  I view it as a good thing, and as a way to learn valuable life lessons that will become increasingly more important as I age, mature and blossom. 

Loneliness.  Not to be confused with independence, as mentioned before, although I feel that they can often tangle themselves.  Well, they don't tangle themselves, but they get tangled in one's mind. Loneliness refers to being alone or in a state of isolation.  Often, my independence feels a little lonely.  As I mentioned, I have many friends and new acquaintances here, but none that I feel I could call on a Wednesday night to share a glass of wine or a good laugh with.  This often leads me to a feeling of loneliness, even though sometimes I view my ability to get through that Wednesday night without a major breakdown as growing independence.  See how they can often become interrelated.  I try not to isolate myself-I love hanging out with people and relaxing, but it is tricky sometimes.

In a nutshell, by my book, independence can come from placing a positive twist on being alone, and vice versa: loneliness can come from placing a negative twist on independence.  This is why I try to view life and my experience here in Missoula with a positive attitude, otherwise, I could fall into the deep whole of loneliness rather than learning to be independent. 

As a side note: With successful independence comes the maturity and intelligence to know how and when to integrate others into your life.  For example, sometimes when I have been in Missoula for a few weeks and then see Casey again, I have to relearn how to go on my daily life with another individual to share it with.  I think we are both learning this.  We adjust to our lives without the other one in close proximity-as we should, otherwise this long distance thing would never work, we'd be on the phone or on the road 24/7, and we would get nothing done.  So as a coping strategy, we've learned to be a little more independent and adjust.  This makes getting back together every other weekend tricky.  It takes some readjusting, as I mentioned.  This continuous adaptation and built resiliency is what will allow our relationship to thrive when that amazing point in our relationship comes when we actually get to live in the same town and/or house.  We will have learned to adjust, cope, be resilient, and be independent so many times-that any conflict thrown our way will be resolved with the blink of an eye (and a little communication).  I already see this playing out in our relationships, and is probably a big reason why we have little conflict.  We know how to adjust, communicate, and thrive.  OK, that was a major side note/tangent, but is something that I have been coming to terms with for several weeks now, and couldn't wait to get it out there.