June

Meet June. The new love of my life:

Unfortunately, our little bundle of joy who we treat like an actual human being, is living with Casey in Clarkston.  But she loves her daddy and he loves her, so that makes it a little more bearable for me to leave her for weeks at a time.  :)

Cowboy Mocha

Cowboy Mocha [cow-boi mo-kah] n., a delicious pick-me-up and good-for-the-soul drink comprised of medium roasted espresso mixed with fine dark chocolate powder, fresh cinnamon and nutmeg and frothy steamed nonfat milk, topped with sprinkled nutmeg.  Serve in a brown mug in a Stonehouse coffee shop where great music is played for a more pleasurable tasting experience.

Well rested

I'd like to believe that I've rested up over my five week long winter break and am ready for the new semester...but only time will tell.  I have mixed feelings about going back.  Not because I don't love Missoula or I am not enjoying my classes...but because I am leaving my comfort zone, again.  I suppose I will feel this way after every long break back at home and in Clarkston.  I am a creature of habit, and do not enjoy climate change.  This break I have settled into the routine of waking up, checking my facebook and e-mail, checking various items off of my to-do list, baking, preparing meals, cleaning, walking, etc.  It's been nice.  I know it's not a feasible life to live forever, but it has become my routine.  I suppose I could say that I will fall back into a routine in Missoula, and of course I will, but it's obviously not the same.  It is different. 

I know I will adjust.  And then I will re-adjust when I come home for summer, when I go back to Missoula, when I come home for next winter break, etc.  But, this is what I asked for, and while it might be difficult at times (i.e. this weekend), it is what I deeply want and I certainly do not regret my decision.  Life is full of decisions, ups & downs, hard times, and numerous moments that take your breath away.  After I've had a few weeks to let this new change set in, I will be just dandy.  Such is life.

[Side note: If in this post I sound like I am still trying to convince myself that it will all be ok...I am :) Deep down I obviously know I will be, but that doesn't help the day-to-day anxious/nervous feelings!]

Apples

If someone asks you for an apple when they really want a 'fancy fruit tray with golden delicious, fuji, pink lady and red delicious apples all arranged in a pattern garnished with white chocolate and cinnamon'...why don't they just ASK for the 'fancy fruit tray with golden delicious, fuji, pink lady and red delicious apples all arranged in a pattern garnished with white chocolate and cinnamon'...?

I think that would make life a litte easier for all parties involved.  How the heck am I supposed to know that they wanted the 'fancy fruit tray with golden delicious, fuji, pink lady and red delicious apples all arranged in a pattern garnished with white chocolate and cinnamon' when all they asked for was AN apple?

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Resolutions

I like the idea of New Years resolutions. Lately I've been hearing a lot of whining about them, and I can see how they might not be for everyone, but it wouldn't hurt to step back, take a look at where you are in your life, compare that to where you'd like to be, and then make some plans (either in the form of definite measurable objectives or vague dream-ful goals) in order to adjust accordingly.  If you feel that resolutions are not for you, and that they are just pointless goals that end up making you feel worthless or like a failure, try making resolutions that you know you can accomplish, and that are more of pointers to remember for the new year...just an idea...not trying to coerce you into making resolutions. I personally know that there are some things I'd like to work on.  I know that by remembering these few resolutions, I might alleviate some stress in my life, thus becoming a little happier. (Because we all know I'm a stressful, unhappy mess, ha ha). So here they are, in no particular order, the things I'd like to adjust for 2011:

1. Watch what I eat. Cliche, yes, but so true.  I've noticed I am somewhat of an emotional eater...and I just really enjoy food. If I'm sad, I'll have some ice cream. If I'm lonely, I'll have some chocolate. If I'm happy, I'll bake some cookies. If I did well on an exam, I'll have a beer. If I am relaxed, I'll have some wine. So maybe that's an exaggeration, but you get the point. The emotional eating has got to stop. I cannot imagine what my body goes through when I eat like that.  I'm not going to deprive myself-because that's not what I do, but I will try to find a jar and contain myself.

2. Be less intimidated. I don't know what had me so intimidated last semester, but something sure did. I was afraid to be myself.  I still haven't figured this one out, and I've mentioned it in previous blogs, but I will continue to work on it. I want my classmates and professors at UM to know the true Emily Williams, and I don't think she's fully arrived, yet (although, maybe a little bit toward the end of last semester).

3. Trade some mochas and lattes for good old black coffee.  This is primarily to help my wallet. I drink black coffee at home and at Casey's and it tastes just fine...good, even. But when I'm on campus or driving by my favorite coffee shop/cafe I often find myself ordering a delicious white chocolate mocha or vanilla latte for sometimes a whopping 4 bucks!! That's like 30 bucks a week...120 bucks a month...too many bucks a year.  I could afford a trip to Hawaii with all the money I'd save! Yes, it has become a bit of a nasty habit, and do enjoy them ever so greatly, but I will try to cut back a smidge.

4. Read for pleasure.  This doesn't need adjusting...I do this just fine. But I wanted to add it, because it is one of my favorite things ever.

5. Spend more time with friends and family. This includes keeping in touch with friends from WSU/high school. I was AWFULLLL at this last semester. I feel so guilty and sad that I've lost contact with some of those girls (and boys) I was so close with...and I have nobody to blame but myself.  And I need to make a better effort to hang out with friends in Missoula who I enjoy spending time with (that means you, Caitlin). These friendships-whether near or far-are what will keep my ticking when the going gets tough, they will be there with me to celebrate exciting things, and they are great for when I just need to listen, or just need to vent a little.

6. Remember to see the good in others and be thankful for who they are. Some of my closest friends and family bear the worst of my "anal-ness" and for that I am deeply sorry. In 2011, with great effort, I am going to ease up a little bit. Everyone brings so many great stories, experiences, values, skills, and qualities to the table...that why in the world would I focus on what they DON'T bring?? I practiced this "strength-based" approach at BHF, and learned to love everyone around me a little deeper by looking at their strengths...but I noticed these past few months that that practice has faded.  I'm going to work hard to get that practice back into a habit of mine. 

I think that should be enough to keep me going :) 2011 is sure to be a whirlwind, just like 2010.  There will be countless more memories, laughs, friendships, tears, and stories.  I have a great year to look forward to-2 semesters at UM, a summer (hopefully in Clarkston), a trip to Norway with the family, trip to Vegas with friends (??) and many, many little things that mean the world.