After 15 straight weeks of graduate school reading, paper-writing, and exam-taking, I am letting my brain rest from the 100 mph thinking it usually does. Yes, that is right, if my brain could move off of the energy it produces thinking, it would be going 100 mph. However, just because I'm not writing down my thoughts, doesn't mean that they aren't happening. That is a good thing, I think. No thoughts would be a scary feeling. But rather than thoughts about what to write my next paper on, or thoughts about my latest journal article, my thoughts this winter vacation have been very contemplative. I am learning a lot just by thinking about what I want, who I am, and what I am so very thankful for.
Top on the list of my blessings is my beautiful family. When I say family, I am also including my closest friends-they all know who they are. As my family and I celebrated the holiday season, we laughed and made great memories in each other's company. Christmas eve was spent decorating holiday sugar cookies together, reminiscing with old friends, sharing a meal with great company, and ending the night by honoring the reason for the season at a beautiful candle-lit Christmas eve service at Joseph United Methodist Church. When Christmas morning came, I was reminded again about how blessed I continue to be, not only because I got a panini maker and a down vest to wear outside during those cold Missoula days, but mostly because I was sharing those special moments with the ones I hold so close to my heart-Mom, Dad, Liv, Nat and Casey. We are all healthy, successful, individuals, with strong morals and values. That says more to me than any panini maker or down vest could ever say. So as the Christmas season comes to an end and we welcome in 2011, I remember to count my blessings, and to remember the true meaning of life.
Speaking of 2011, what the heck happened to 2010?!? I remember vividly travelling to Leavenworth in sub-par driving conditions with Casey last January. That seems like yesterday. And what about my trip to Missoula with my mom to check out UM?...that was at the end of last January. That was almost a year ago!! And now...I am a full-time graduate student at that very university, and have completed the first semester with outstanding grades if I do say so myself (only three more left!!...don't get me wrong, I do love Missoula, but finishing my Masters degree is something very big and exciting!!). So what all happened in 2010? Well, a lot to say the least.
January was spent traveling as I mentioned already. Casey and I to Leavenworth, and then Mom and I to Missoula.
February was just another month in Pullman. I'm sure there was snow! Casey and I made a delicious Valentine's day steak dinner that we enjoyed in our vehicle from the prettiest area in Clarkston.
March was spent preparing for my summer internships. I did three interviews, and finally settled on moving back home and completing my internship at Building Health Families in Enterprise. Probably one of the smartest and best decisions I've ever made.
April was the month I turned 22 and spent finishing up my days in Pullman. Yes, there were also many trips down the hill to smelly Clarkston.
May was an exciting month-graduation from WSU with my great family cheering me on in the stands, Tim McGraw and Lady A in Spokane, beginning of BHF internship, and Memorial Day weekend with the Tuschhoffs as they prepared for the 2010 OMC.
June was busy, busy, busy for Casey and I. Every weekend was spent on the road for either one or the both of us...OMC, Erica's wedding in Orofino, Hoopfest and Casey's birthday in Spokane.
July was just as busy. Trip to the Oregon Coast and Philomath for the Williams family reunion. It was great to be with Casey as he discovered the ocean for the first time in almost 20 years. And also 4th of July at Wallowa Lake and CJD.
August was an up and down month. Very bittersweet. Casey took note of my worries about leaving for Missoula, and presented a promise ring...with the promise "to love me forever." I was touched, and I definitely use it as a symbol to remind my while I'm away, that I will always have someone to come home to. Around the middle of the month I made the move to Missoula with the help of Holly and Casey.
September and October were spent in Missoula with Casey in Clarkston. A few trips back and forth were made and I really got to know Missoula and my wonderful classmates. I even tried to convince Casey to pick up his life and move to Missoula (I was only half serious). He didn't think that was the best idea :)
November started with an amazing weekend in Spokane on a weekend-long double date with Kari and Kale. Wonderful shopping, dining, drinking, and laughing. Thanksgiving dinner was spent at Casey's aunt and uncle's in Asotin and then a trip over the mountain to Joseph for the weekend. Casey met Grandpa John, and a good time was had.
December wrapped up the year with a nice red bow. I cross-country skied for the very first time,and I survived and might even go again! Then I was reunited with my family and Casey after far too long. I already talked about the great time we had celebrating the holiday season, and now here I am, enjoying a beautiful morning in Clarkston as we prepare to ring in 2011.
As I walked across the river this morning to my favorite cafe to sip a latte and read my latest book, and then walked another latte down to Casey at work-I remembered again how truly blessed I am. I have the willpower and desire to walk outside in freezing temps so that I may guiltless-ly enjoy the simple pleasures of life. How many can truly say that?? Often we are caught up in the hustle and bustle of the American lifestyle, but I challenge everyone to step away from that for a second and take some time for themselves. Granted, I am a childless, graduate student on a five-week winter vacation, so that might be easier said than done...but give it a shot. I don't think you'll regret it. Let me know how that goes and happy 2011!
30 December 2010
21 December 2010
13 December 2010
XC Skiing
First day ever on skis: SUCCESS
My friend Emily and I went on a Beginner XC Ski trip through the outdoor rec program on campus. The two of us, two ski instructors, and about 10 other eager XC skiers loaded up our gear and our bodies in two university SUV's and headed up to Lolo Pass. We skiied around a little practice loop for a while (after getting the awful downhill in the beginning), then had the choice of taking the longer 5 or 6 mile loop, or the shorter 2 or 3 mile loop. Because I hadn't yet gotten the hang of it, I without a doubt in my mind chose the shorter loop. Emily, another participant, Skyler, our ski instructor John and myself ventured out on the short loop. After making it around once, we were all amazed that it hadn't taken that long and that we hadn't really fallen too much (except on the downhills and uphills). We stopped for a quick snack and headed around the short loop again!! So we almost went as long as the long loop people went :) Toward the end, I was exhausted, and honestly couldn't wait to get back home and take a shower. On the last little uphill, I lost my determination, took off my skis, and walked up the hill (which is also very difficult in deep powdery snow). Despite my frustration, I had a great time. "Gliding" around the loops felt so good. I loved the feeling of working every part of my body, and being able to view beautiful scenery at the same time.
Today...I am sore. I can move, but my entire body aches. Nevertheless, I will be XC skiing again!
My friend Emily and I went on a Beginner XC Ski trip through the outdoor rec program on campus. The two of us, two ski instructors, and about 10 other eager XC skiers loaded up our gear and our bodies in two university SUV's and headed up to Lolo Pass. We skiied around a little practice loop for a while (after getting the awful downhill in the beginning), then had the choice of taking the longer 5 or 6 mile loop, or the shorter 2 or 3 mile loop. Because I hadn't yet gotten the hang of it, I without a doubt in my mind chose the shorter loop. Emily, another participant, Skyler, our ski instructor John and myself ventured out on the short loop. After making it around once, we were all amazed that it hadn't taken that long and that we hadn't really fallen too much (except on the downhills and uphills). We stopped for a quick snack and headed around the short loop again!! So we almost went as long as the long loop people went :) Toward the end, I was exhausted, and honestly couldn't wait to get back home and take a shower. On the last little uphill, I lost my determination, took off my skis, and walked up the hill (which is also very difficult in deep powdery snow). Despite my frustration, I had a great time. "Gliding" around the loops felt so good. I loved the feeling of working every part of my body, and being able to view beautiful scenery at the same time.
Today...I am sore. I can move, but my entire body aches. Nevertheless, I will be XC skiing again!
09 December 2010
Whewwwwww
That is my sigh of relief. The semester is almost over. It has been a whirlwind these past few months...to say the least. I have a presentation tomorrow, then one exam, one paper, and one project due next week during finals week...SO CLOSE! I really do enjoy my time here, but I am so ready for a break. It has been an intense semester...just with the graduate level courses, and being away from my family and Casey for extended periods of time (Casey and I are currently on day 11 of 19 days between seeing each other). Might sound cliche, but I have learned so MUCH about myself, my relationships with others, and about this thing we call life. Here are some of the highlights:
1. That I CAN give a presentation and not be completely nervous and sick about it. (Last one of the semester happens tomorrow-and look at me, I'm in a coffee shop, blogging! Hooray. This is definitely progress since high school, and even college).
2. How to effectively run a Basketball class filled with 25 male and 3 female college students. It warmed my heart to hear how pleased they were with the class today as we said our "goodbye's"
3. That I enjoy my alone time. Sometimes there is nothing I love more than being in my room, curled up with my blanket, reading a book and sipping tea. This didn't seem to go over well with my classmates at first...I was too lonely, too isolated, and lived too far away in their opinions. But I call BS! I hung out with them when I wanted to and had an absolutely glorious time. As for the other times...I just wanted to fulfill my hermit-ish desires :)
4. That I can survive on my own. There was never a doubt in my mind that I could be independent and didn't need a man by my side. I have done it successfully before. However, I was still skeptical how my relationship with Casey would turn out if we lived over four hours away from each other and could only see each other every few weekends due to busy schedules and such. After living apart for 15 weeks, I'd say we're doing just fine. I know we have three more semesters to go, but we both agree that we will without a doubt "make-it" and that our relationship is still thriving.
5. That I am easily intimidated, but often for illegitimate reasons (or no reason at all). I am still working on this. I tend to read too much into e-mails and conversations, leading me to be cautious with my interactions with certain individuals. I will mention no names. I need to get over it though.
6. I am addicted to caffeine. I kind of already knew this before. But I have really realized how comforting it is to give into my habit to have that tall nonfat white chocolate mocha before my Anthropology class on Tuesdays and Thursdays and before graduate seminar of Fridays. Also, I usually have one Monday, Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday while I am studying. I have tried a few times to give it up--but I always come to the conclusion "Why am I depriving myself of something I enjoy so much?!?" In sum, I think it is an okay habit, but perhaps I should practice it in moderation.
7. What a world of difference taking daily vitamins can make. I feel so much more awake!!
That is all. Hopefully over my magical, relaxing, amazing five weeks in Joseph and Clarkston I will be able to blog more. No papers, exams, basketball students or class. Just five weeks to myself. I can't remember the last time that happened. Maybe when I was 12.
1. That I CAN give a presentation and not be completely nervous and sick about it. (Last one of the semester happens tomorrow-and look at me, I'm in a coffee shop, blogging! Hooray. This is definitely progress since high school, and even college).
2. How to effectively run a Basketball class filled with 25 male and 3 female college students. It warmed my heart to hear how pleased they were with the class today as we said our "goodbye's"
3. That I enjoy my alone time. Sometimes there is nothing I love more than being in my room, curled up with my blanket, reading a book and sipping tea. This didn't seem to go over well with my classmates at first...I was too lonely, too isolated, and lived too far away in their opinions. But I call BS! I hung out with them when I wanted to and had an absolutely glorious time. As for the other times...I just wanted to fulfill my hermit-ish desires :)
4. That I can survive on my own. There was never a doubt in my mind that I could be independent and didn't need a man by my side. I have done it successfully before. However, I was still skeptical how my relationship with Casey would turn out if we lived over four hours away from each other and could only see each other every few weekends due to busy schedules and such. After living apart for 15 weeks, I'd say we're doing just fine. I know we have three more semesters to go, but we both agree that we will without a doubt "make-it" and that our relationship is still thriving.
5. That I am easily intimidated, but often for illegitimate reasons (or no reason at all). I am still working on this. I tend to read too much into e-mails and conversations, leading me to be cautious with my interactions with certain individuals. I will mention no names. I need to get over it though.
6. I am addicted to caffeine. I kind of already knew this before. But I have really realized how comforting it is to give into my habit to have that tall nonfat white chocolate mocha before my Anthropology class on Tuesdays and Thursdays and before graduate seminar of Fridays. Also, I usually have one Monday, Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday while I am studying. I have tried a few times to give it up--but I always come to the conclusion "Why am I depriving myself of something I enjoy so much?!?" In sum, I think it is an okay habit, but perhaps I should practice it in moderation.
7. What a world of difference taking daily vitamins can make. I feel so much more awake!!
That is all. Hopefully over my magical, relaxing, amazing five weeks in Joseph and Clarkston I will be able to blog more. No papers, exams, basketball students or class. Just five weeks to myself. I can't remember the last time that happened. Maybe when I was 12.
20 November 2010
Thankful
With Thanksgiving a little less than a week away, I am reminded more than ever to count my blessings and to be thankful. While I strive to take less for granted on a daily basis, it is hard to be faithful about this practice. So first of all, I am thankful for holidays such as Thanksgiving that encourage us to remember to count our blessings, to be thankful, and to take less for granted (because we all need a little help now and then...) So here it is, my list of what I am thankful for, Thanksgiving 2010:
1. My health. Common answer for a Community Health graduate student, perhaps. But nevertheless, so true. Without my health, I would not be who I am today. Encompassed with the idea of health comes access, education, safety, security, belonging, ability, confidence and many others...for all of these, I am thankful, grateful, and blessed.
2. My family. Without them I would not be here-literally, emotionally, mentally, socially, physically. Period. Love them to death.
3. My Casey. I thank him weekly (should be daily) for being by my side as we go through this journey called life. Without him, I don't think I would have found myself yet.
4. My friends. Good friends, bad friends, new friends, old friends, long-time friends, short-lived friends...you all have made me who I am. Thank-you for making a presence in my life. You have given strength, wisdom, humor, humility, esteem and beauty-tips that I will carry with me the rest of my life.
5. My laptop. This gives me connection to the outside world when I am spending endless hours in my bedroom doing homework, or simply being a hermit.
Probably a cliche "I am thankful for..." list, but it is mine. I know I left off countless blessings, things to be thankful for, and things I take for granted, and to them, I am sorry. Perhaps next year you'll make the official list, but you will always be in my heart, and I will always be grateful.
1. My health. Common answer for a Community Health graduate student, perhaps. But nevertheless, so true. Without my health, I would not be who I am today. Encompassed with the idea of health comes access, education, safety, security, belonging, ability, confidence and many others...for all of these, I am thankful, grateful, and blessed.
2. My family. Without them I would not be here-literally, emotionally, mentally, socially, physically. Period. Love them to death.
3. My Casey. I thank him weekly (should be daily) for being by my side as we go through this journey called life. Without him, I don't think I would have found myself yet.
4. My friends. Good friends, bad friends, new friends, old friends, long-time friends, short-lived friends...you all have made me who I am. Thank-you for making a presence in my life. You have given strength, wisdom, humor, humility, esteem and beauty-tips that I will carry with me the rest of my life.
5. My laptop. This gives me connection to the outside world when I am spending endless hours in my bedroom doing homework, or simply being a hermit.
Probably a cliche "I am thankful for..." list, but it is mine. I know I left off countless blessings, things to be thankful for, and things I take for granted, and to them, I am sorry. Perhaps next year you'll make the official list, but you will always be in my heart, and I will always be grateful.
External
sources of motivation. I'm constantly reminded that I unfortunately have very little internal motivation. I rely almost solely on external motivating factors. Why is this? I don't know. If I had the answer, I would surely change it. I spent weeks attempting to write and work on a twenty page research paper, with little success. As soon as the weekend came and I knew I had to finish it in order to enjoy my Thanksgiving holiday and to have my amazing mother proof-read it for me. So, wha-la! After a few hours cozied up in my warm bed with my laptop, numerous journal articles, and a nonfat white chocolate mocha (yes, despite the horrible weather conditions [see below] I ventured out to acquire my necessary caffeine fix) nearby, my rough draft is miraculously (almost) finished.
I've tried faking external sources of motivation like telling myself last week that I had to get it done in order to enjoy the weekend with my friends in Spokane...but somehow my brain knew that I would still have a great guilt-free weekend even if I did not get a single sentence written on that paper. How does it do that?!?!
Nevertheless, it is what it is. I will continue to try to find internal motivation (I don't know how much longer I will get by with such low levels :/), I will enjoy my Thanksgiving holiday, and my mom will graciously proof-read my research paper.
I've tried faking external sources of motivation like telling myself last week that I had to get it done in order to enjoy the weekend with my friends in Spokane...but somehow my brain knew that I would still have a great guilt-free weekend even if I did not get a single sentence written on that paper. How does it do that?!?!
Nevertheless, it is what it is. I will continue to try to find internal motivation (I don't know how much longer I will get by with such low levels :/), I will enjoy my Thanksgiving holiday, and my mom will graciously proof-read my research paper.
Current weather
Temperature: 19 degrees
Temperature with wind chill: Negative 1 degree
Wind gusts: 30-35 mph
Air: dry, Dry, DRY!
Precipitation: Intermittent hail and snow showers
Welcome to Montana.
15 November 2010
Friends
I do not know how I would get by without the help of my friends...
...had a fabulous weekend in Spokane (and surrounding areas) with Casey, Kale and Kari. Talking, reminiscing, wine tasting, martini bar discovering, eating, shopping, talking, laughing. It's been decided that it is not okay for us to live more than two hours apart...hopefully in the future we will be able to see each other more than every nine months! <3
08 November 2010
Christmas prep
I finished my book review...so I rewarded myself by spending time sewing...and I finished the first of two Christmas stockings that I'm making. I will reward myself with more sewing time to finish the second stocking after I finish my research paper. (That might be another week or two).
07 November 2010
Future
I know, I know...I strive to live in the moment. I really do try, and I feel like I do it successfully. That being said, worrying about the future and looking forward to the future are two different things in my mind. (Buddha reminds us to "not worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wholy and earnestly.") Looking forward to minor things that will occur -- and can only occur -- after finishing graduate school is good for the soul. It gives me little pleasures to look forward too, and it is the little things that make life worth living. So, here are the first four items on my list of things I hope to acquire shortly after finishing graduate school:
a gray kitten
a chocolate lab puppy
a cute couch or living room set
a snazzy car...yeah, it's okay to dream big
Is that too much to look forward to? Definitely not. Remember, it's the little things...
06 November 2010
Mini Get Away
Casey and I visited Joseph over Halloween weekend and decided that it was a perfect time to hike/walk up Hurricane Creek to Slick Rock. I had never went as far as Slick Rock, and Casey had never been up Hurricane Creek at all, so wha-la!, we have ourselves a mini get away. It was peaceful, enjoyable, and even a little bit romantic as we walked along the creek and sat at our destination listening to the water pour down the rocks. Here are just a few pictures to document our morning...
Quick photo opportunity...the ring that says it all.
Hurricane Creek...I think. It seems narrow in this picture.
I'm thinking that's Sacajawea in the background...but I need to brush up on my Eagle Cap Wilderness knowledge.
There it is...Slick Rock
Priorities
I could be writing a book review, writing a 20-page research paper, starting my biostatistics homework for next week, or even reading for class...
...OR, I could start making Christmas stockings and a tree skirt with the material I just bought at Jo-Ann's fabric after searching for just the right ones for an hour and a half.
I think I'll choose the latter.
...OR, I could start making Christmas stockings and a tree skirt with the material I just bought at Jo-Ann's fabric after searching for just the right ones for an hour and a half.
I think I'll choose the latter.
04 November 2010
Drama, bullying, and tears
Being friends with my sister and some of her junior high friends on facebook allows me to take a look at what goes on in their lives. I am constantly reminded of my junior high days...all the drama, relational bullying and tears are so sad. In my health promotion class we discuss and debate the importance of kindness, patience, and being non-judgemental and how these factors can influence our health and the health of others. Some believe it, others do not. But if this is true, junior high girls are setting themselves and their peers up for defeat.
I truly hope this is a phase for them (as it was for some of the girls in my class), but I would imagine that some of them will carry on those personality traits with them through their whole lives. This leads to even a stickier debate....where are these behaviors learned, and whose responsibility is it to "teach" the "correct" behaviors. These are questions that will potentially never be answered. Personally, I believe that it is the role of the parents to socialize their little munchkins into "model citizens." But I have seen even the best parents might raise "little bullies." So should the responsibility also lie in the school system? Maybe they ignore the bullying, therefore perpetuating it. Or perhaps some teachers are modeling the bullying behavior....I remember one like that. The cycle of blame can go on and on...bottom line is that it needs to stop. Many girls out grow it, but some do not, and it is these girls who I hope I don't ever irritate or anger :)
I truly hope this is a phase for them (as it was for some of the girls in my class), but I would imagine that some of them will carry on those personality traits with them through their whole lives. This leads to even a stickier debate....where are these behaviors learned, and whose responsibility is it to "teach" the "correct" behaviors. These are questions that will potentially never be answered. Personally, I believe that it is the role of the parents to socialize their little munchkins into "model citizens." But I have seen even the best parents might raise "little bullies." So should the responsibility also lie in the school system? Maybe they ignore the bullying, therefore perpetuating it. Or perhaps some teachers are modeling the bullying behavior....I remember one like that. The cycle of blame can go on and on...bottom line is that it needs to stop. Many girls out grow it, but some do not, and it is these girls who I hope I don't ever irritate or anger :)
Glimpse
I spent part of my long weekend (I had Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday off) in Clarkston with Casey. I worked on school work during the days while he worked and at night we made dinner together. If this was a glimpse of what our future will be like, I'm in love. We had the greatest time :)
16 October 2010
Health
Health goes beyond the risk factors or disease counts established by our contemporary Western medical system. I try not to negate our medical system too much (because I am a consumer of it), but I do agree that sometimes a wider lens is needed. As I was researching how depression and anxiety is viewed in different cultures, I came across this quote:
"Academic epidemiology has limited itself to a narrow biomedical perspective, thereby committing the fallacy of inferring that disease in populations can be understood by studying the risk factors for disease in individuals. Epidemiology should be redefined as a study of the distribution and societal determinants of the health of the populations. This definition provides a stronger link to the primary mission of public health and places and appropriate emphasis on the social, economic, environmental, and cultural determinants of population health."
(SHY, C. M. 1997. The failure of academic epidemiology: witness for prosecution. American Journal of Epidemiology, 145, 479–484.)
There must be a reason why individuals who live in poverty, or who live near environmental pollutants, or who are discriminated against have poorer health according to various health and quality of life indicators. Maybe we should start looking at these reasons...
"Academic epidemiology has limited itself to a narrow biomedical perspective, thereby committing the fallacy of inferring that disease in populations can be understood by studying the risk factors for disease in individuals. Epidemiology should be redefined as a study of the distribution and societal determinants of the health of the populations. This definition provides a stronger link to the primary mission of public health and places and appropriate emphasis on the social, economic, environmental, and cultural determinants of population health."
(SHY, C. M. 1997. The failure of academic epidemiology: witness for prosecution. American Journal of Epidemiology, 145, 479–484.)
There must be a reason why individuals who live in poverty, or who live near environmental pollutants, or who are discriminated against have poorer health according to various health and quality of life indicators. Maybe we should start looking at these reasons...
Stronger
Not only am I gaining a valuable educational experience here in Missoula, but I am growing stronger, becoming more independent, and gaining more self-knowledge each and every day. I spent the whole day doing things on my own. Believe me, this is a big step for me. I thrive in the company of others. I have never been great at doing things on my own. That being said, I wouldn't consider myself "dependent." I just like company. I think that distinction makes sense. But back to today...I went to the Farmers Market, grabbed a coffee, did some major studying, fixed dinner, and then watched a few movies with my roommate (yeah, this probably counts as company, but there was not a lot of interaction going on). I missed Casey, of course, and wished I was hanging out with him and his family, but I realized today...that I can do this, and I will do this.
Being on my own for just the past eight weeks has allowed me to learn so much about myself. I am finding out more about what I want, what I need, and who I am all of the time. I am so thankful that I am getting this experience to grow stronger and develop more faith in who I am before settling down into a marriage or a lifetime with someone. I am so glad that I took this leap of faith for not only me, but for my future spouse and family. I know that if I would have chosen the alternative, that I would run the risk of being dependent on someone else, and dissolve in a relationship because I wouldn't know who I really am. This experience is giving me that opportunity...the opportunity to know the real Emily. When Casey and I are fortunate enough to start our lives together in the same town, we will each have a strong sense about who we are, and we will know what we can give, what we want, and what we need. All crucial components of a long term relationship, or a marriage for that matter.
Being on my own for just the past eight weeks has allowed me to learn so much about myself. I am finding out more about what I want, what I need, and who I am all of the time. I am so thankful that I am getting this experience to grow stronger and develop more faith in who I am before settling down into a marriage or a lifetime with someone. I am so glad that I took this leap of faith for not only me, but for my future spouse and family. I know that if I would have chosen the alternative, that I would run the risk of being dependent on someone else, and dissolve in a relationship because I wouldn't know who I really am. This experience is giving me that opportunity...the opportunity to know the real Emily. When Casey and I are fortunate enough to start our lives together in the same town, we will each have a strong sense about who we are, and we will know what we can give, what we want, and what we need. All crucial components of a long term relationship, or a marriage for that matter.
10 October 2010
Perspective
I just want to give a shout out to my blog readers. I love your comments and how they encourage me to view things from a different perspective.
08 October 2010
What do you want to do after that?
Seriously, if I had the answer to this question right now I would be a millionaire. It really is the "million-dollar" question. It seems that everyone these days wants the answer to it. But, GAH! I don't know what I want to do. To all of you out there who have asked me this, it is okay, I don't mind the curiosity, but this obsession about the future becomes burdensome. I wish people would ask, instead, "how is graduate school, are you meeting great people from all walks of life, and are you gaining knowledge and different perspectives?" This is what I want to focus on...the present. The here and the now. The future is great. But it is obviously inevitable, so let's not worry so much about it. I will figure out what I want to do after graduate school when the time comes. Yes, some people do know what they want to do after they graduate (and I of course have a vague sense of what that might be), but hopefully they too are still living in the moment, soaking up the rich experience and all of it's glory.
Yes, of course I sometimes too get wrapped up in the future and thinking about where I want to live, what I want to do, when I want to start a family. But that will all happen on it's own...kind of. You know what I mean. What I mean is it is nothing I need to worry about right now. It is okay to have goals-and I do. But what is more important in many cases is those tiny steps that ultimately get you to the bigger goal. For example, in order to graduate with my Master's degree and eventually go out into communities to educate people on how to be "well," I must first complete this weekend's bio-statistics homework, host my dad and boyfriend as they visit me in my new city, grade 135 undergraduate multiple choice exams, and study for my ridiculously detailed anthropology exam scheduled for Tuesday. Tuesday is about as far in the future that I want to focus on...and maybe what I will be doing next weekend. That is far enough. The next weeks can be in the back of my mind, especially if what is coming up requires some planning, but in the front of my mind should be the here and the now. To be exact, my mind should be on this blog post. But because I have a little more space in the front of my mind...I will also include things like grading, hosting, and studying.
My mom gave me a card before I headed off to Missoula that says, "The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."-Buddha
This quote has stuck with me through these first six weeks in Missoula. Whenever I get caught up in planning or stressing, I remember that card from my mom, and my perspective (and sanity [what is sanity anyway?!]) returns. But I am human, and I have my moments as well.
Yes, of course I sometimes too get wrapped up in the future and thinking about where I want to live, what I want to do, when I want to start a family. But that will all happen on it's own...kind of. You know what I mean. What I mean is it is nothing I need to worry about right now. It is okay to have goals-and I do. But what is more important in many cases is those tiny steps that ultimately get you to the bigger goal. For example, in order to graduate with my Master's degree and eventually go out into communities to educate people on how to be "well," I must first complete this weekend's bio-statistics homework, host my dad and boyfriend as they visit me in my new city, grade 135 undergraduate multiple choice exams, and study for my ridiculously detailed anthropology exam scheduled for Tuesday. Tuesday is about as far in the future that I want to focus on...and maybe what I will be doing next weekend. That is far enough. The next weeks can be in the back of my mind, especially if what is coming up requires some planning, but in the front of my mind should be the here and the now. To be exact, my mind should be on this blog post. But because I have a little more space in the front of my mind...I will also include things like grading, hosting, and studying.
My mom gave me a card before I headed off to Missoula that says, "The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."-Buddha
This quote has stuck with me through these first six weeks in Missoula. Whenever I get caught up in planning or stressing, I remember that card from my mom, and my perspective (and sanity [what is sanity anyway?!]) returns. But I am human, and I have my moments as well.
So true
"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."-Marion C. Garretty
Thanks mom.
Thanks mom.
My world
05 October 2010
Frozen
Why do I freeze up in class discussions?
You would think that after four years of college classes, a fairly intelligent person (with a little experience to boot) would be able to contribute to a conversation in a graduate school course. But no. I freeze up every time, or provide useless feedback. I'm working on it. I have never been one to talk in group settings. Not a characteristic I'm proud of. If anyone can think of any advantages not being able to talk in a group setting or not being able to add to a conversation (that I know a lot about), please feel free to share! I'd love to hear. At least I'm starting to give my input...it just doesn't make sense yet.
I think I'm intimidated. But I need to get over it. Seriously.
You would think that after four years of college classes, a fairly intelligent person (with a little experience to boot) would be able to contribute to a conversation in a graduate school course. But no. I freeze up every time, or provide useless feedback. I'm working on it. I have never been one to talk in group settings. Not a characteristic I'm proud of. If anyone can think of any advantages not being able to talk in a group setting or not being able to add to a conversation (that I know a lot about), please feel free to share! I'd love to hear. At least I'm starting to give my input...it just doesn't make sense yet.
I think I'm intimidated. But I need to get over it. Seriously.
04 October 2010
Ups and downs
Some days are good, some days are not so good. Funny how life is that way. Normally I would consider myself a pretty stable and positive person, but then there are days where I feel:
lonely
negative
bitter
angry
disengaged
snappy
insecure
sensitive
fragile
crabby
somber
It is the "down" days that make me remember to count my blessings and be thankful for the positive, upbeat days. While I'm feeling all of those emotions, I try to remain calm and think to myself: tomorrow will be different. And sure enough, it always is. To all those who have been in my life on those "down" days: I'm sorry, but thanks for sticking it out and loving me during my worst and best. Thanks, Casey.
lonely
negative
bitter
angry
disengaged
snappy
insecure
sensitive
fragile
crabby
somber
It is the "down" days that make me remember to count my blessings and be thankful for the positive, upbeat days. While I'm feeling all of those emotions, I try to remain calm and think to myself: tomorrow will be different. And sure enough, it always is. To all those who have been in my life on those "down" days: I'm sorry, but thanks for sticking it out and loving me during my worst and best. Thanks, Casey.
01 October 2010
Graduate school...
"isn't about the studying and the thesis, it's about the trip to Great Falls, MT to visit the Sip & Dip and to see the mermaids with your classmates..." One of my professors said this to a few of us who gathered last night at a local bar/restaurant to say good-bye to two of the girls who just finished their Masters in the Health Promotion. After she said this I glanced at her to determine whether she was serious or joking...and she was dead serious. I got to thinking about this a little more...and she is right. If I can make new friends, explore new things, and have a good time, the rest will fall into place. Of course, I need to give myself ample time to study and do the thesis, but if I am happy and healthy in other aspects of my life, it will come almost naturally. I think most people can do better work when they are happy. Happiness just puts you in a better state of mind, and in a better place to be successful than if you were sad, lonely or cranky. I loved that she said this. I think it is so true.
*For those who are wondering, I have never been to Great Falls, but apparently it is not a very exciting town, EXCEPT for the Sip & Dip. I am told there is always a line out the door to get in, and that they have great drinks. AND, there are girls who dress as mermaids and swim in a tank behind the bar all night. I wonder how they breathe. Do they come up for air every few minutes?...that wouldn't be very real-like because mermaids do not have to do that. Do they wear scuba gear so they can stay under the whole time?...Tacky!! I will never know until I visit Great Falls. Our classmate Kelly just got engaged, and she said she wouldn't mind her bachelorette party being at the infamous Sip & Dip. Actually, according to Kelly, the Sip & Dip was rated as one of the best bars in the west in the men's magazine, Maxim. I don't know whether that's a good thing or not....
*For those who are wondering, I have never been to Great Falls, but apparently it is not a very exciting town, EXCEPT for the Sip & Dip. I am told there is always a line out the door to get in, and that they have great drinks. AND, there are girls who dress as mermaids and swim in a tank behind the bar all night. I wonder how they breathe. Do they come up for air every few minutes?...that wouldn't be very real-like because mermaids do not have to do that. Do they wear scuba gear so they can stay under the whole time?...Tacky!! I will never know until I visit Great Falls. Our classmate Kelly just got engaged, and she said she wouldn't mind her bachelorette party being at the infamous Sip & Dip. Actually, according to Kelly, the Sip & Dip was rated as one of the best bars in the west in the men's magazine, Maxim. I don't know whether that's a good thing or not....
22 September 2010
Just when
I think I can't take it anymore, something unexpected happens for the better:
Last Friday was a rough day. I wanted to be in the car driving west, but money and work schedules had other plans for me. I was ready to spend the weekend curled up in a ball in bed watching movies and drinking tea (which isn't all so bad, but for three days straight it might become a little unhealthy) when a classmate called and invited me to come hang out with him and his wife. We went to a Brewery that I hadn't been to yet then walked aroudn downtown Missoula and checked out a few other spots. We ended the night at James Bar (one of Casey's favorite spots here) devouring sweet potato tots. Thanks Billy and Melissa-I'm not sure you know how greatful I am that you called me that night. It's amazing how a random act of kindness or some positive social interaction can make my mood do a complete turn around.
Last Friday was a rough day. I wanted to be in the car driving west, but money and work schedules had other plans for me. I was ready to spend the weekend curled up in a ball in bed watching movies and drinking tea (which isn't all so bad, but for three days straight it might become a little unhealthy) when a classmate called and invited me to come hang out with him and his wife. We went to a Brewery that I hadn't been to yet then walked aroudn downtown Missoula and checked out a few other spots. We ended the night at James Bar (one of Casey's favorite spots here) devouring sweet potato tots. Thanks Billy and Melissa-I'm not sure you know how greatful I am that you called me that night. It's amazing how a random act of kindness or some positive social interaction can make my mood do a complete turn around.
Fortunate
As of lately, I have really been remembering to count my blessings. Sure, I am here in a new city getting to know people and continuously having to step outside of my comfort zone. This may seem like torture at times, but when I stop and put things into perspective it all seems so small. I am able to go home to a warm, furnished apartment, I can talk on the phone to my friends and family, I can warm up a cup of tea and eat delicious comfort foods, I do not have to worry about the bills (thanks to student loans and assistantships), I am loved, I have dreams, goals and desires.
So many people out there cannot even claim those luxuries that I often take for granted. They spend endless hours stressed, hungry, cold, and tired. This obviously takes a toll on their health. As my fellow classmates and I explore this topic, a question continues to linger in my head: how do we, as community health educators, fight this battle? The answer will probably remain unanswered for quite some time...it could possibly remain unanswered until we find another leading determinant of health. But in the meantime, I believe there needs to be collaboration between social workers, community action agencies, and community health specialists. It seems silly as health educators to tell people to eat five servings of fruits and veggies a day when they are trying to find a place to live or struggle to put any food on the table at all. I have seen this collaboration in many communities that I have been a part of, it just seems more obvious and necessary on this side of the spectrum (the health side).
It has been difficult at times over here on my own, but if I remember to count my blessings, I feel so fortunate, optimistic, and most of all, humbled.
So many people out there cannot even claim those luxuries that I often take for granted. They spend endless hours stressed, hungry, cold, and tired. This obviously takes a toll on their health. As my fellow classmates and I explore this topic, a question continues to linger in my head: how do we, as community health educators, fight this battle? The answer will probably remain unanswered for quite some time...it could possibly remain unanswered until we find another leading determinant of health. But in the meantime, I believe there needs to be collaboration between social workers, community action agencies, and community health specialists. It seems silly as health educators to tell people to eat five servings of fruits and veggies a day when they are trying to find a place to live or struggle to put any food on the table at all. I have seen this collaboration in many communities that I have been a part of, it just seems more obvious and necessary on this side of the spectrum (the health side).
It has been difficult at times over here on my own, but if I remember to count my blessings, I feel so fortunate, optimistic, and most of all, humbled.
15 September 2010
Autumn
Signs that autumn, as it is referred to here in Missoula (not "fall" like I'm used to), is in the air:
...the air is crisp
......I can wear sweat pants to bed
.........pumpkin spice lattes are here at Starbucks
............weekends are spent on the couch with Casey watching football
...............today I made pumpkin-zucchini bread...delicous! (recipe http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/pumpkin-zucchini-bread/Detail.aspx)
...the air is crisp
......I can wear sweat pants to bed
.........pumpkin spice lattes are here at Starbucks
............weekends are spent on the couch with Casey watching football
...............today I made pumpkin-zucchini bread...delicous! (recipe http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/pumpkin-zucchini-bread/Detail.aspx)
Funny
how a kitchen table can make you feel so much more at home.
I found one on craigslist today...now the apartment feels complete!
I found one on craigslist today...now the apartment feels complete!
09 September 2010
Heart disease
Several thoughts went through my head as I watched the driver in front of me throw his hands up in the air (I assume in disgust) at the driver in front of him, honk his horn, and continue to follow extremely close behind them on a 45 mile per hour road for several blocks...
1. Does he really think the person in front of him sees him acting out...and if they can see him, do they care?
2. Is he really solving anything by acting this way?
3. Doesn't he know that stress and hostility are a leading cause of hypertension which can in turn lead to heat disease?
...health is on the brain after two weeks as a community health graduate student :)
1. Does he really think the person in front of him sees him acting out...and if they can see him, do they care?
2. Is he really solving anything by acting this way?
3. Doesn't he know that stress and hostility are a leading cause of hypertension which can in turn lead to heat disease?
...health is on the brain after two weeks as a community health graduate student :)
06 September 2010
Points
Casey visited for the long weekend...thank goodness. The two weeks we were apart seemed unbearable toward the end. Of course, I knew I would get through it...and of course, I did. But it was nice to have him here. While he was here, we explored Missoula, and I showed him things about the town that I liked. I would continue to say "point for Missoula" whenever he or we discovered something we liked. I love it here, and I am trying to convince him that it would be a nice place to settle down at and start a family. Over the course of the weekend we would say "point for Missoula for the great Farmer's market" or "point for the valley (Lewiston-Clarkston) because it's close to family," etc. As we sat on the curb Saturday night eating a scoop of home-made ice cream at the Big Dipper near downtown Missoula, Casey said two things that have stuck with me: "point for Missoula because there I don't feel judged here," and "point for Missoula because people are out-and-about doing things."
He is so right about not feeling like I am constantly being judged in Missoula. It seems crazy to think this is even possible. Even in Wallowa County, I feel like I am constantly being judged based on what I wear, who my family is, why I am walking down the street, why I use a reusable shopping bag, etc. And in Pullman, it was even worse... But in Missoula, the feeling is different. I feel like I can go out wearing something I am completely comfortable in, walk down any street in town (yes, even next to a trailor park), and carry flowers or a stack of books in my "chico bag" and nobody will look twice. It is a great feeling, and it is hard to describe until you feel it for yourself.
And yes, people are out doing things! What an amazing idea! Yes, it is probably different in the winter time when there are several feet of snow, but during the summer the town is alive and vibrant. We sat and licked our ice cream cones fairly late in the evening and saw several people around down town (some obviously drinking, but some not). Also when we were out an about Saturday and Sunday during the morning and afternoons, the town was "hopping." People were on-the-go, walking around, visiting shops, walking the trails, riding bikes, visiting the local Saturday and Farmer's markets...and the weather was not even that great. It is the polar opposite in the valley. I often wonder where everyone is there. It is just a completely different attitude toward the ideas of "community," life, family, and well-being.
He is so right about not feeling like I am constantly being judged in Missoula. It seems crazy to think this is even possible. Even in Wallowa County, I feel like I am constantly being judged based on what I wear, who my family is, why I am walking down the street, why I use a reusable shopping bag, etc. And in Pullman, it was even worse... But in Missoula, the feeling is different. I feel like I can go out wearing something I am completely comfortable in, walk down any street in town (yes, even next to a trailor park), and carry flowers or a stack of books in my "chico bag" and nobody will look twice. It is a great feeling, and it is hard to describe until you feel it for yourself.
And yes, people are out doing things! What an amazing idea! Yes, it is probably different in the winter time when there are several feet of snow, but during the summer the town is alive and vibrant. We sat and licked our ice cream cones fairly late in the evening and saw several people around down town (some obviously drinking, but some not). Also when we were out an about Saturday and Sunday during the morning and afternoons, the town was "hopping." People were on-the-go, walking around, visiting shops, walking the trails, riding bikes, visiting the local Saturday and Farmer's markets...and the weather was not even that great. It is the polar opposite in the valley. I often wonder where everyone is there. It is just a completely different attitude toward the ideas of "community," life, family, and well-being.
Education
It is funny as a graduate student, or maybe just as a person with a strong belief in education and self-pride, to sit in class, or at the bus stop, or on the bus and listen to the conversations of other students. “I hope I can just come to this class, not take it seriously, and get an ‘A’” were the words out of one girls mouth in my 400-level stats class. It will be interesting to see how long she makes it in this class. Or, “I went to the concert last night but don’t remember any of it…I just had a bowl of top ramen to help with my hangover.” Sure, I was there once and into the whole scene of being away from home and staying up late. I can admit that I have never been to a concert and not remembered it, or wanted to slack off in a class but still get an ‘A.’ I’m not judging these students or trying to be critical, it’s just so VERY interesting to me. It makes me wonder what these people want to do in their lives. Who knows, they could make a great social worker or doctor someday…I just hope they have a change of heart before they cut me open
I do not want to belittle anyone who feels that a college education is not for them. (The man I love is a high school graduate and proud of it that he has found a great job and has a house, all without a college degree). It is just interesting to me that people to set out to get a college degree and then expect it to be given to them or expect it to be easy.
I have always valued education. It was just how I was raised, you could say. I never thought anything about it, really. I go to class, I work hard and give it my best, I do homework in a timely fashion, I ask questions, and that was that! This was the case from my first school experience in Kindergarden through elementary school, through middle school, on through high school and college at WSU, and now in my graduate studies here at UM. I do not know how I would succeed otherwise. Sure, there are times when I don’t really have to give it my best in a course to excel (for example when I did the sixth grade work in fifth grade, and then again when I was in sixth grade, or in my freshman level nutrition class that I took as a senior at WSU), but I still go through the motions-class, homework, exams, clarifying questions, etc. I just enjoy gaining knowledge, and I know that it will “pay off” in the end-I will find a job or career that I like, use the skills and knowledge that I have acquired over the years, and settle down with my family. I guess I could say “different strokes for different folks.” This is just one case where I can’t imagine being a “different folk.”
I do not want to belittle anyone who feels that a college education is not for them. (The man I love is a high school graduate and proud of it that he has found a great job and has a house, all without a college degree). It is just interesting to me that people to set out to get a college degree and then expect it to be given to them or expect it to be easy.
I have always valued education. It was just how I was raised, you could say. I never thought anything about it, really. I go to class, I work hard and give it my best, I do homework in a timely fashion, I ask questions, and that was that! This was the case from my first school experience in Kindergarden through elementary school, through middle school, on through high school and college at WSU, and now in my graduate studies here at UM. I do not know how I would succeed otherwise. Sure, there are times when I don’t really have to give it my best in a course to excel (for example when I did the sixth grade work in fifth grade, and then again when I was in sixth grade, or in my freshman level nutrition class that I took as a senior at WSU), but I still go through the motions-class, homework, exams, clarifying questions, etc. I just enjoy gaining knowledge, and I know that it will “pay off” in the end-I will find a job or career that I like, use the skills and knowledge that I have acquired over the years, and settle down with my family. I guess I could say “different strokes for different folks.” This is just one case where I can’t imagine being a “different folk.”
30 August 2010
Let the graduate studies begin...
...classes at UM started today, but classes for Emily do not start until tomorrow. Lucky me, no classes on Mondays! Tomorrow I start the day off with being introduced in a class that I TA for (Foundations of Health & Human Performance), then attend my Culture, Health & Healing class, then teach Fundamentals of basketball to 30 eager college students, and then finish off the day with my Health Promotion Strategies class. It will be a full day, but I'm ready to get this journey started.
I have really started to feel "at home" here in Missoula as I bike around town, explore more of campus and the town, sit and sip coffee at the local coffee shops, and hang out reading, sewing and scrapbooking.
While I feel very "at home"...something is missing. And that something starts with a "C" and ends with an "asey." Corny, I know.
I have really started to feel "at home" here in Missoula as I bike around town, explore more of campus and the town, sit and sip coffee at the local coffee shops, and hang out reading, sewing and scrapbooking.
While I feel very "at home"...something is missing. And that something starts with a "C" and ends with an "asey." Corny, I know.
25 August 2010
Something new...
I've made a mental goal to visit or explore someplace new every day.
Yesterday I visited the Tuesday night farmer's market...and I rode my bike there! I heard that the Saturday market is much bigger. There were probably 15 or so produce stands...most with huckleberries and giant zucchinis!! I purchased some cucumbers and broccoli...that was all that I had enough cash for :) I will visit again on Saturday and see if I can't find some more yummy foods.
Today I checked out the Lunch in the Park. There were about 20 local restaurant vendors and live music. I tried a meatball kabobwich with apple bbq sauce. It was delicious! The music and food were both great and I enjoyed people watching for a few minutes...but it would have been much more fun with Casey or a friend.
Yesterday I visited the Tuesday night farmer's market...and I rode my bike there! I heard that the Saturday market is much bigger. There were probably 15 or so produce stands...most with huckleberries and giant zucchinis!! I purchased some cucumbers and broccoli...that was all that I had enough cash for :) I will visit again on Saturday and see if I can't find some more yummy foods.
Today I checked out the Lunch in the Park. There were about 20 local restaurant vendors and live music. I tried a meatball kabobwich with apple bbq sauce. It was delicious! The music and food were both great and I enjoyed people watching for a few minutes...but it would have been much more fun with Casey or a friend.
24 August 2010
Home
Here is the place that I will call home for at least the next year...
Kitchen
Spacious kitchen. I haven't added any of my touches yet, but I'm thinking we need a counter height little table in the center...
Bedroom
I'm loving all of the space! Casey, Holly and I could all be in it moving and unpacking stuff without being in each other's way! How wonderful. On the wall facing the bed is my desk and a place where my sewing machine will go!
Bathroom
My very own bathroom right off of my bedroom. This means I am not cleaning up after people, I am not refilling toilet paper for someone else, nobody is using my towels, and I can take a bath without bathing where other people shower. Ahhh, it really is about the simple things in life!
I will be using these three spaces the most, but the apartment also has a nice front patio, a spacious living room (that isn't very cute yet), and a washer/dryer unit. Having a nice, big, clean space to live in makes the adjustment to a new life much easier!
Missoula.
Here it is. My first blog from Missoula. I know it has been a widely anticipated blog by all of my blog readers! Today is Tuesday and since Saturday it has been a blur. It literally has gone by in a flash. So many new places, so many great meals, so much walking. I was so blessed to have Casey here Saturday and Sunday to help me move and explore my new home, and Holly here from Saturday until just a few hours ago. Now it is time to get going on my own (until Mom and Nat come Thursday!!)...
Here's a very condensed version of the last few days.
Saturday. Leave Clarkston at 8:15 a.m. and make the glorious, curvy, long trek to Missoula. We stopped several times (thanks Starbucks) and got a little bit lost once we hit Missoula, but we finally arrived at the apartment and got to unloading the vehicles right away. It was HOT! We were all three sweating by the end of it, but decided to hit up downtown and the mall and then McKenzie River Pizza Company for dinner (so good!). We spent a good portion of time driving around to find The Good Food Store that I remembered seeing before and had heard good things about from people in Wallowa County- we were not successful.
Sunday. Casey was sad he had to leave that day, but we all decided to make the best of it (what else can we do??). We had coffee together, hit up a few shops, and then had Fudruckers for lunch. It was burgers and fries so I think that made Casey happy. By the time we got back, it was time for Casey to hit the road unfortunately. We both know that it is in every one's best interest to stay positive...and that we will make it :) Holly and did MORE shopping, and more searching for the Good Food Store after Casey left...and also some serious organizing and unpacking.
Monday. Morning started with a lovely (and tiring because I'm so out of shape) hike to the famous "M" on Missoula's hillside...beautiful view from the top!
Here's a very condensed version of the last few days.
Saturday. Leave Clarkston at 8:15 a.m. and make the glorious, curvy, long trek to Missoula. We stopped several times (thanks Starbucks) and got a little bit lost once we hit Missoula, but we finally arrived at the apartment and got to unloading the vehicles right away. It was HOT! We were all three sweating by the end of it, but decided to hit up downtown and the mall and then McKenzie River Pizza Company for dinner (so good!). We spent a good portion of time driving around to find The Good Food Store that I remembered seeing before and had heard good things about from people in Wallowa County- we were not successful.
Sunday. Casey was sad he had to leave that day, but we all decided to make the best of it (what else can we do??). We had coffee together, hit up a few shops, and then had Fudruckers for lunch. It was burgers and fries so I think that made Casey happy. By the time we got back, it was time for Casey to hit the road unfortunately. We both know that it is in every one's best interest to stay positive...and that we will make it :) Holly and did MORE shopping, and more searching for the Good Food Store after Casey left...and also some serious organizing and unpacking.
Monday. Morning started with a lovely (and tiring because I'm so out of shape) hike to the famous "M" on Missoula's hillside...beautiful view from the top!
Holly and went in several cute shops and boutiques downtown before showering and cleaning up to head to the mall for some nice and relaxing retail therapy. After shopping off and on for three days with Holly I can confidently say that I have enough clothes to get me through the next several months...without having to do laundry for more clothes, haha. And, the highlight of the day was finding The Good Food Store! We had actually turned right before it several times, driven along the side of it, and it is on the same street as my apartment. Oops! But we found it, and it was everything I had anticipated. We came back, ate pita and hummus and had a Big Sky Summer Honey Ale...with fresh honey from the Good Food Store. The night ended with Holly convincing me to watch an episode of The Bachelor Pad online...and now I'm hooked.
Tuesday. Episode 3 of The Bachelor Pad online and coffee with Holly (I have now tried four coffee places in 4 days). Time to say goodbye to Holly. So bittersweet. I wanted her to stay, but I knew that I needed to be alone and get used to the feeling of being more independent! So here I am...blogging! I think a bike ride will be in store later this afternoon.
19 August 2010
Thursday
Missoula bound in two days. Feelings still mixed...getting more excited. My nerves were soothed a bit when mom said that her and Nat are coming down next Thursday. I'm remembering back to four years ago when I was getting settled in my dormroom at WSU. I remember being nervous then too...but not this nervous! It seems like there are so many more unknown variables going into grad school at UM, but really when I think about all the unknowns, the same variables were unknown going into my undergrad at WSU. Weird. The mind can be a tricky thing!
Chest Freezer
Casey and I more or less inherited a chest freezer from my parents. Actually, it is more like it was sitting in our garage and I was itching to cook some freezer meals for Casey and I to enjoy throughout the fall, so we asked for it and dad said we could have it!
Five pounds of ground beef, some chicken, 12 tupperware containers, six foil pans and about five hours later we have a chest freezer full of delicious food! I suppose time will tell just how delicious they really are! I think more than anything, they will be convenient and easy...two things that I love most!
Five pounds of ground beef, some chicken, 12 tupperware containers, six foil pans and about five hours later we have a chest freezer full of delicious food! I suppose time will tell just how delicious they really are! I think more than anything, they will be convenient and easy...two things that I love most!
16 August 2010
Mixed Emotions
When I sit down to think about what I'm really feeling at this point in time...I get completely mixed signals. I am spending my last full day here at home packing, cleaning, getting UM stuff together, and running errands. All of that is fine, but it is bit sad to be leaving. It truly has been a great summer full of fun times, great experiences and a little bit of sun.
And then I think of the reason why I'm packing, cleaning, getting UM stuff together, and running errands...and I feel excited, scared, anxious and nervous all at the same time. I don't really know what to expect when I get to that first orientation or as I teach my first basketball class, or as I grade my first batch of papers, or as I talk to my advisor about my plan for the next two years, or as I write my first paper of graduate school. There are so many unknowns...and I don't do well with that. BUT, I am also excited to discover a new city (with the help of Casey and Holly the first few days!), excited to acquire knowledge in a field that I am extremely interested in, excited to discover more about myself, and excited to meet new people.
And then I think of all that I am moving further away from. Casey. Pullman friends. Family in Joseph. Joseph friends. New BHF co-workers/friends.
These mixed emotions and back-and-forth excitement are playing continuously in my mind. I don't think my mind will be settled until I get there and get into a routine...so for that reason I am counting down the days. 14 days until the routine begins.
And then I think of the reason why I'm packing, cleaning, getting UM stuff together, and running errands...and I feel excited, scared, anxious and nervous all at the same time. I don't really know what to expect when I get to that first orientation or as I teach my first basketball class, or as I grade my first batch of papers, or as I talk to my advisor about my plan for the next two years, or as I write my first paper of graduate school. There are so many unknowns...and I don't do well with that. BUT, I am also excited to discover a new city (with the help of Casey and Holly the first few days!), excited to acquire knowledge in a field that I am extremely interested in, excited to discover more about myself, and excited to meet new people.
And then I think of all that I am moving further away from. Casey. Pullman friends. Family in Joseph. Joseph friends. New BHF co-workers/friends.
These mixed emotions and back-and-forth excitement are playing continuously in my mind. I don't think my mind will be settled until I get there and get into a routine...so for that reason I am counting down the days. 14 days until the routine begins.
01 August 2010
Sunday
Almost perfect Sunday...
...breakfast and my book at Old Town,
baking blueberry scones,
listening to Lady Antebellum,
blogging,
and laying at the lake with my book.
...breakfast and my book at Old Town,
baking blueberry scones,
listening to Lady Antebellum,
blogging,
and laying at the lake with my book.
Wedding bells?
When mom asked me yesterday if Casey and I ever talked about getting married I could feel my cheeks blushing. Of course we talk about it! We are two young individuals, in love, who want nothing more than to settle down with our soul mates and start a family. We both seek comfort, simplicity and some sort of a routine. And we both just feel that it is right. It's a feeling I've never experienced before...but I think I like it ;)
After basically telling mom yes...I think she went into full wedding mode. We checked out the backyard where I would LOVE to get married, talked about reception venues, looked at a few dresses, and Liv and I spend much of the afternoon looking at cakes, decorations, favors, flowers and bridesmaid dresses. Oh jeeze!! :)
Take note people, this won't be for AT LEAST two more years as we have both decided that I need to be done in Missoula before we want to tie the knot...and we need to be engaged first! But it is always fun to think about it!
After basically telling mom yes...I think she went into full wedding mode. We checked out the backyard where I would LOVE to get married, talked about reception venues, looked at a few dresses, and Liv and I spend much of the afternoon looking at cakes, decorations, favors, flowers and bridesmaid dresses. Oh jeeze!! :)
Take note people, this won't be for AT LEAST two more years as we have both decided that I need to be done in Missoula before we want to tie the knot...and we need to be engaged first! But it is always fun to think about it!
Summertime
The summertime bug has got me. It's been about a month since a blog post. Shame on me. It really has been a crazy, busy, and fast summer. In just twenty short days I will be on my way to Missoula, Montana to begin my next big adventure. It's an adventure that I'm both excited and super nervous about. I'm thankful for the opportunity to further my education in an area that I truly am passionate and excited to learn more about. However, I'm nervous about adjusting to a new city, being away from the one that I love, being away from my family, being away from my fabulous WSU and Joseph friends, and finding enough focus to excel in my graduate studies. That being said...there is only one thing I can do: Just do it. The only way I will get through it is to take one day at a time, live in the moment, and remember to count my blessings.
Summer activities have ranged from attending early morning cowboy breakfast, relaxing on the Snake, mentoring an amazing 14-year-old, folding loads of laundry, and running my first ever Family Play Group! It truly has been wild and full of unforgetable people, relationships, and learning experiences.
Casey and I found ourselves once again enjoying the music and booze of the thunder room. Again, it was a great time with friends followed by pancakes and eggs at the ever-so-famous cowboy breakfast at 2:00 a.m. This was our second Chief Joseph Days together...wow.
We finally had a weekend a few weeks ago where we didn't have ANYTHING planned. It was amazing. The previous eight weekends were all booked, and on our first free weekend we enjoyed the sunshine both days on the Snake River. I can't wait to be on the water again this next weekend for Casey's company getaway trip up the Snake.
Mentoring. Something I never thought I would be good at...and at first I don't think I was. However, I have really started appreciating my time with my mentee. We have learned a lot from each other and I'm sure we will miss our time together. She has a long ways to go still, but with a little support from community members, I am confident she will succeed. Just remember-a smile and a hug can go a long ways!
Unfortunately for me, I took on the night job from last summer at the motel again. It is only two nights a week, but still the worst part of the week. I try to make the best of it, and it really isn't THAT bad...it could be worse. It's extra money and that never hurts. Working this job two nights a week makes me thankful for my education and the fact that I will be able to have a "normal" weekday job.
Family Play Group! All summer at BHF I had been planning curriculum for a parent-child play group. With the opening of the new Learning Center set for after I leave, we decided it would be a good idea for me to implement my curriculum with a different target audience. We invited the families that different staff members at BHF home visit for a variety of reasons. These family play groups have been quite a whirlwind. My passion is NOT working with one to five year olds. I enjoy them, but I also enjoy order and perfection-two things that are not possible with a group of toddlers. Week one saw no attendees. Week two (with incentives and door prizes) saw 12 children (5 families). Whew-zero to 17 people in one short week was not what I had in mind. I was overwhelmed, but thanks to my co-workers, remembered to look at the bright side. All kids took home a free book, all kids sat still during story and song time, a family in need won a Safeway gift card, and a mom who is usually against any sort of parenting information asked a clarifying question about my handout. They were engaged, and many positives came from the group-but Wowza, hopefully next time I have additional co-workers for support! Week three was much different than week two. We had 3 children (3 families). Much more laid back, parents interacted with each other, and it was not so LOUD! What will week four have in store...?
Those are the summer highlights in a nutshell. More to come as the adventure rolls on...
Summer activities have ranged from attending early morning cowboy breakfast, relaxing on the Snake, mentoring an amazing 14-year-old, folding loads of laundry, and running my first ever Family Play Group! It truly has been wild and full of unforgetable people, relationships, and learning experiences.
Casey and I found ourselves once again enjoying the music and booze of the thunder room. Again, it was a great time with friends followed by pancakes and eggs at the ever-so-famous cowboy breakfast at 2:00 a.m. This was our second Chief Joseph Days together...wow.
We finally had a weekend a few weeks ago where we didn't have ANYTHING planned. It was amazing. The previous eight weekends were all booked, and on our first free weekend we enjoyed the sunshine both days on the Snake River. I can't wait to be on the water again this next weekend for Casey's company getaway trip up the Snake.
Mentoring. Something I never thought I would be good at...and at first I don't think I was. However, I have really started appreciating my time with my mentee. We have learned a lot from each other and I'm sure we will miss our time together. She has a long ways to go still, but with a little support from community members, I am confident she will succeed. Just remember-a smile and a hug can go a long ways!
Unfortunately for me, I took on the night job from last summer at the motel again. It is only two nights a week, but still the worst part of the week. I try to make the best of it, and it really isn't THAT bad...it could be worse. It's extra money and that never hurts. Working this job two nights a week makes me thankful for my education and the fact that I will be able to have a "normal" weekday job.
Family Play Group! All summer at BHF I had been planning curriculum for a parent-child play group. With the opening of the new Learning Center set for after I leave, we decided it would be a good idea for me to implement my curriculum with a different target audience. We invited the families that different staff members at BHF home visit for a variety of reasons. These family play groups have been quite a whirlwind. My passion is NOT working with one to five year olds. I enjoy them, but I also enjoy order and perfection-two things that are not possible with a group of toddlers. Week one saw no attendees. Week two (with incentives and door prizes) saw 12 children (5 families). Whew-zero to 17 people in one short week was not what I had in mind. I was overwhelmed, but thanks to my co-workers, remembered to look at the bright side. All kids took home a free book, all kids sat still during story and song time, a family in need won a Safeway gift card, and a mom who is usually against any sort of parenting information asked a clarifying question about my handout. They were engaged, and many positives came from the group-but Wowza, hopefully next time I have additional co-workers for support! Week three was much different than week two. We had 3 children (3 families). Much more laid back, parents interacted with each other, and it was not so LOUD! What will week four have in store...?
Those are the summer highlights in a nutshell. More to come as the adventure rolls on...
20 June 2010
Place to live!
I'm so thankful that I now have a place to live in Missoula! For sure this time! When my first housing arrangement fell through, I was devistated and anxious to secure down a different place so that I could focus on more important things.
With the help of craigslist, I found a lady who was looking for a roommate. She just lost her husband a year ago, and moved into this apartment to "start over." I went to Missoula few days ago to meet her, and to also check out a few other places. The other places were awful, so I was nervous going into my meeting with her because I wanted it to workout so badly. We met, she seemed great and respectful, and I loved the apartment. My room is huge, I have my own bathroom, and the apartment has a great kitchen and a washer/dryer! It was a perfect match. The only downside is that it isn't super close to campus...but it is close to the bike path, or when the paths are snowy, Missoula has a great bus system from what I hear.
Feels so good to have that taken care of!
With the help of craigslist, I found a lady who was looking for a roommate. She just lost her husband a year ago, and moved into this apartment to "start over." I went to Missoula few days ago to meet her, and to also check out a few other places. The other places were awful, so I was nervous going into my meeting with her because I wanted it to workout so badly. We met, she seemed great and respectful, and I loved the apartment. My room is huge, I have my own bathroom, and the apartment has a great kitchen and a washer/dryer! It was a perfect match. The only downside is that it isn't super close to campus...but it is close to the bike path, or when the paths are snowy, Missoula has a great bus system from what I hear.
Feels so good to have that taken care of!
Future
Tomorrow will be the start of my sixth week at Building Healthy Families. Time has flown by. I have been a part of so many learning opportunities. We have had intense and sad days, and we have had amazing happy days.
So many of the issues I have talked about in previous Human Development classes did not seem real or possible. However, now I know that those situations are real...and that people really do need people like us at Building Healthy Families in order to survive. The day that I realized this, it hit me hard. I could not believe it, and I broke down. I can even imagine being at a point like that in my life, where the only person I can turn to is a stranger or someone I've just met. But, I am so glad that we are there for the people in that situation...because without us, it is hard to say where they would be.
I'm thankful for the lessons I am learning. It is these interesting and intense cases that make the social services field such a invaluable one. I hope that as a future professional in the field of social services, prevention and community education, I will remember these intense days at Building Healthy Families and better know how to organize a community to help all those in need and prevent future harm and worry. It's a big hope, but I know that I am walking in the right direction.
So many of the issues I have talked about in previous Human Development classes did not seem real or possible. However, now I know that those situations are real...and that people really do need people like us at Building Healthy Families in order to survive. The day that I realized this, it hit me hard. I could not believe it, and I broke down. I can even imagine being at a point like that in my life, where the only person I can turn to is a stranger or someone I've just met. But, I am so glad that we are there for the people in that situation...because without us, it is hard to say where they would be.
I'm thankful for the lessons I am learning. It is these interesting and intense cases that make the social services field such a invaluable one. I hope that as a future professional in the field of social services, prevention and community education, I will remember these intense days at Building Healthy Families and better know how to organize a community to help all those in need and prevent future harm and worry. It's a big hope, but I know that I am walking in the right direction.
19 May 2010
Whirlwind
Three days ago my internship at Building Healthy Families started. It's been a whirlwind to say the least. I have observed numerous clients, programs, meetings and get togethers over the past three days and have picked up on a few key themes.
The first is that of togetherness. This comes in many forms. Each of the Building Healthy Families staff members work great together. Things seem to run smoothly, each does their own job very well, and they are always communicating and collaborating with each other. Also, each of the community members for the most part work together. Today, I attended Drug Court, a hiring meeting and also a Community Resource Team meeting. At each of these events several community leaders gathered, discussed the topic, and worked effectively together. This was amazing to me.
Also, there is a great deal of respect. The staff members respect each other. The staff members respect me as an intern. The staff members respect the Executive Director, who in turn respects the staff. And the staff members respect each and every one of their clients. I have been able to observe interactions with a few of the clients in the past three days, and they also have a great deal of respect for the Building Healthy Family program as a whole and its staff members.
The last theme I noticed is that for this line of work, there are never enough hours in the day. I have not had a free moment since I began at 8 AM on Monday morning. It has been go, go, go, and that is how everyone in the office is. Each staff member has their share of duties, and those fill up their day. Today I shadowed the Executive Director more closely and we had several meetings that she was a part of. The days are BOOKED-and I didn't even have time to do my note-taking on a particular case. Whew. Good thing there are five more days next week.
In sum, it has been an incredible ride so far...and I know there is so much more to come. That has just been week one!
The first is that of togetherness. This comes in many forms. Each of the Building Healthy Families staff members work great together. Things seem to run smoothly, each does their own job very well, and they are always communicating and collaborating with each other. Also, each of the community members for the most part work together. Today, I attended Drug Court, a hiring meeting and also a Community Resource Team meeting. At each of these events several community leaders gathered, discussed the topic, and worked effectively together. This was amazing to me.
Also, there is a great deal of respect. The staff members respect each other. The staff members respect me as an intern. The staff members respect the Executive Director, who in turn respects the staff. And the staff members respect each and every one of their clients. I have been able to observe interactions with a few of the clients in the past three days, and they also have a great deal of respect for the Building Healthy Family program as a whole and its staff members.
The last theme I noticed is that for this line of work, there are never enough hours in the day. I have not had a free moment since I began at 8 AM on Monday morning. It has been go, go, go, and that is how everyone in the office is. Each staff member has their share of duties, and those fill up their day. Today I shadowed the Executive Director more closely and we had several meetings that she was a part of. The days are BOOKED-and I didn't even have time to do my note-taking on a particular case. Whew. Good thing there are five more days next week.
In sum, it has been an incredible ride so far...and I know there is so much more to come. That has just been week one!
10 May 2010
Unforgettable
This past weekend I graduated from Washington State University with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Human Development. How exciting. It is truely a weekend I will never forget. These are just a few of the highlights:
5. Tailgating in the Crimson & Gray parking lot :) My apartment was a mess (Ugh, roommates!), campus was crazy, so we made the best of it! We put out the snacks on Uncle Bill's tailgate, and dug right in!
4. Introducing my family to some of my professors (and my advisor/mentor Laura). It's funny to think that these two different groups of people know me so well on so many levels, yet they do not know each other! It felt like a gap in my circle was closed.
3.Sitting down to a nice dinner with my family, some of Casey's family, and some friends. It was relaxing, and so heartwarming to see the different groups of people (who had just met) enjoy a meal together.
2. Waiting in line with my Human Development friends. We weren't the closest friends, but we all had classes together and experienced the same grueling research papers and exams...so sharing that moment was priceless.
1. Walking into Beasley Coliseum and furiously texting Casey and my family asking them where they were at. The feeling I had when I finally saw them waving vigorously at me in the crowd of hundreds of people is one that I'll never forget. They looked so proud of me, and I was proud to call them mine. I think I even teared up a little bit.
Thanks again everyone for making it so unforgettable :)
5. Tailgating in the Crimson & Gray parking lot :) My apartment was a mess (Ugh, roommates!), campus was crazy, so we made the best of it! We put out the snacks on Uncle Bill's tailgate, and dug right in!
4. Introducing my family to some of my professors (and my advisor/mentor Laura). It's funny to think that these two different groups of people know me so well on so many levels, yet they do not know each other! It felt like a gap in my circle was closed.
3.Sitting down to a nice dinner with my family, some of Casey's family, and some friends. It was relaxing, and so heartwarming to see the different groups of people (who had just met) enjoy a meal together.
2. Waiting in line with my Human Development friends. We weren't the closest friends, but we all had classes together and experienced the same grueling research papers and exams...so sharing that moment was priceless.
1. Walking into Beasley Coliseum and furiously texting Casey and my family asking them where they were at. The feeling I had when I finally saw them waving vigorously at me in the crowd of hundreds of people is one that I'll never forget. They looked so proud of me, and I was proud to call them mine. I think I even teared up a little bit.
Thanks again everyone for making it so unforgettable :)
29 April 2010
10 Guilty Pleasures
10. Doing nothing...when I have so much to do. This doesn't happen often, but when it does it feels soooo good, and sooo bad at the same time.
9. Pizza after dinner. I love that Casey's roommate works at Pizza Hut. There is almost always pizza in the fridge, and I often enjoy cold pizza in the evening.
8. Collecting notepads, apparently. I started packing up my room, and found about 20 little notepads. I don't know if I buy them, or if they're given to me...but they're soooo cute!
7. Indulging in some sort of White Chocolate Mocha-almost every day. I sometimes tell myself that I drink it for the Pantothenic Acid (a vitamin found in coffee beans), but we all know that it's for the sugar...and caffeine.
6. Driving the speed limit between Clarkston and Pullman. Other people on the road HATE this! I guess the real speed limit is 15 or 20 over what is posted. But, because it's difficult to pass on that road most of the time, I enjoy going under 65 to keep people waiting...it's good for them.
5. Drinking Raspberry Smirnoff Ices. They are so bad for me, but I enjoy them so much. A good way to end the day every now and then.
4. Facebook "following." Some call it stalking, some call it following; I chose the latter. I feel like as a facebook user I have a right to keep tabs on everyone-friends or not. If you don't want people like me looking at it-then don't put it on there!
3. My daily chocolate. Yes, I have a candy dish in my room. Delicious.
2. Reading Cosmo. Who doesn't?
1. And my biggest guilty pleasure: Watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette. I've heard it over and over again-"I can't believe you watch that show and like it!!" I can believe it, why wouldn't I want to watch a show where people just want to find true love. Who cares if it's a tv show and if all of the dates are pre-planned. Love is love in my book.
9. Pizza after dinner. I love that Casey's roommate works at Pizza Hut. There is almost always pizza in the fridge, and I often enjoy cold pizza in the evening.
8. Collecting notepads, apparently. I started packing up my room, and found about 20 little notepads. I don't know if I buy them, or if they're given to me...but they're soooo cute!
7. Indulging in some sort of White Chocolate Mocha-almost every day. I sometimes tell myself that I drink it for the Pantothenic Acid (a vitamin found in coffee beans), but we all know that it's for the sugar...and caffeine.
6. Driving the speed limit between Clarkston and Pullman. Other people on the road HATE this! I guess the real speed limit is 15 or 20 over what is posted. But, because it's difficult to pass on that road most of the time, I enjoy going under 65 to keep people waiting...it's good for them.
5. Drinking Raspberry Smirnoff Ices. They are so bad for me, but I enjoy them so much. A good way to end the day every now and then.
4. Facebook "following." Some call it stalking, some call it following; I chose the latter. I feel like as a facebook user I have a right to keep tabs on everyone-friends or not. If you don't want people like me looking at it-then don't put it on there!
3. My daily chocolate. Yes, I have a candy dish in my room. Delicious.
2. Reading Cosmo. Who doesn't?
1. And my biggest guilty pleasure: Watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette. I've heard it over and over again-"I can't believe you watch that show and like it!!" I can believe it, why wouldn't I want to watch a show where people just want to find true love. Who cares if it's a tv show and if all of the dates are pre-planned. Love is love in my book.
26 April 2010
Together
Sunday was a beautiful day. Casey and I washed, prepped, and stained...two coats...each and every one of these boards to make the pergola. And then while I made chicken fajitas...mmmm...he and his roommate put it together. He has been talking about wanting a pergola for a couple months, so a few weeks ago he bought everything he needed, cut the wood, notched out the holes, and made it happen! He did a great job, and I'm so excited to hang flower baskets from the corners!
People
It's amazing to me how some people can be so welcoming and caring where others can be comepletely closed off. I was amazed at how welcoming people were this past weekend while I attended the Asotin County fair with Casey. We attended a few bar-b-ques-one through mutual friends, and the other was his ex's parents. While I didn't know what to expect at eiher place, it wasn't one bit awkward. Both homes opened up to me as if we had known each other forever.
I compare this past weekend to the situation I've been in for the last eight months in my apartment. I've lived next to these people for all this time, yet I feel closer to the people I met last weekend than I do to them. It's just so ironic to me. Perhaps it's the generation, perhaps it's me, perhaps it's individual differences. Who knows. I just continue to be amazed by people and how they act each and every day. I love it.
I compare this past weekend to the situation I've been in for the last eight months in my apartment. I've lived next to these people for all this time, yet I feel closer to the people I met last weekend than I do to them. It's just so ironic to me. Perhaps it's the generation, perhaps it's me, perhaps it's individual differences. Who knows. I just continue to be amazed by people and how they act each and every day. I love it.
22 April 2010
Thursdays
and I have not gotten along the past few weeks. I'm not sure why, but by the time Thursday evening rolls around-I'm bummed, lonely and exhausted. It must just be the built up stress from the week taking its toll on my mental state. Or perhaps it's because I usually get to spend Wednesday nights with Casey, so I want Thursdays to be the same. Whatever the reason is, at least I only have one more week, then it's summertime. Deep breaths.
15 April 2010
Wrap up
Wrapping things up, closing a chapter in my life, coming to a fork in the road-it's quite an interesting feeling, and one that I have experenced few times thus far in my life (though I anticipate many more to come). My final semester in college is coming to an end- a little over two more weeks, only two assignments and two finals left. After that, it's good-bye to Pullman, and hello to the rest of my life. It feels like it's the end of such a long and important journey-and it's weird!
It's probably a feeling I will get more and more used to as I make changes throughout my life. But for now I have only known life in Joseph, and the past four years in Pullman. So ending this seems like a huge event. In the grand scheme of things...I suppose it's pretty minute. Excited (and nervous and anxious, too!) to continue this journey... :)
It's probably a feeling I will get more and more used to as I make changes throughout my life. But for now I have only known life in Joseph, and the past four years in Pullman. So ending this seems like a huge event. In the grand scheme of things...I suppose it's pretty minute. Excited (and nervous and anxious, too!) to continue this journey... :)
12 April 2010
Faith
is the key to happiness and success. I'm am constantly reminded that with faith in God, my abilities, and my relationships with those around me, anything can be accomplished. It is a difficult fact to remember, but can make all the difference in the mundane day-to-day activities.
08 April 2010
Just say no
We always hear the message 'Just Say No.' I think this is usually referring to drugs, alcohol, unprotected sex, and things of that nature. Because whenever I am on the receiving end of a 'no' answer, it isn't any fun. I strongly dislike being told 'no.' If I want to do something (or want someone to do something for me) I want it to happen. It's selfish...I know...but I can't help. If I really work on accepting 'no' as an answer, it will probably get better, but it is just something I haven't needed to work on...until now.
I understand that there will be times in my life when things won't go my way. My boyfriend will already have plans with his friends, my co-workers will have other priorities to tend to before getting to my issue, my kids will not want to hang out with me...haha, thinking long term here. It is just a fact of life. But honestly, in the past, I have not really had to face it. Friends here in Pullman are pretty easy going, and I don't really overstep my boundaries with them, my parents were good about supporting me and saying 'yes', I haven't had a serious job where I've needed collaboration from co-workers, and I obviously do not have any children yet. I guess accepting 'no' as an answer is a part of growing up...a part of growing up that I'm not exactly looking forward too. Nevertheless, learning this lesson will probably get me further along in my relationships with others than throwing a temper tantrum every time they tell me no. So I guess it's something I should work on ;)
I understand that there will be times in my life when things won't go my way. My boyfriend will already have plans with his friends, my co-workers will have other priorities to tend to before getting to my issue, my kids will not want to hang out with me...haha, thinking long term here. It is just a fact of life. But honestly, in the past, I have not really had to face it. Friends here in Pullman are pretty easy going, and I don't really overstep my boundaries with them, my parents were good about supporting me and saying 'yes', I haven't had a serious job where I've needed collaboration from co-workers, and I obviously do not have any children yet. I guess accepting 'no' as an answer is a part of growing up...a part of growing up that I'm not exactly looking forward too. Nevertheless, learning this lesson will probably get me further along in my relationships with others than throwing a temper tantrum every time they tell me no. So I guess it's something I should work on ;)
05 April 2010
Mindfulness
In my Easter basket was the book "Wherever You Go There You Are" by John Kabat-Zinn. I was automatically drawn to this book because of the title-it's so true! Wherever you go...there you are!
I have only read through the first few chapters so far, but I just want to share some of the points that I feel are extremely important for me to remember (and you can feel free to remember them too if you'd like!):
1. "If what happens now does influence what happens next, then doesn't it make sense to look around a bit from time to time so that you are more in touch with what is happening now--so that you can take your inner and outer bearings and perceive with clarity the path that you are actually on and the direciton in which you are going?" (p. xvi)
I think this is especially important for me to remember, and something I currently struggle with. I am so caught up in planning the "perfect" future for myself and for those that I love. BUT, if I take time to think and concentrate in only the "here and now" won't that automatically lead to the best future? I think it will-since every moment predicts the next moment. My first goal: live in the now, it will lead to the best possible outcome.
2. "When it comes down to it, wherever YOU go, there YOU are. It's YOUR life that is unfolding" (p. xvii)
This is so true too! I believe I said something along these lines when I was describing the title of this blog (altogether separate)...maybe I could write a book and make the big bucks ;) It is MY life that I am living-only I can truly know what I think, feel, believe and know.
3. "[Mindfulness] is a way to take charge of the direction and quality of our own lives, including our relationships within the family, our relationship to work and to the larger world and planet, and most fundamentally, our relationship with ourself as a person...It is the direct opposite of taking life for granted" (p. 5).
My second goal: to strive to not take life for granted. I believe it is something we are all guilty of-even it is taking for granted the smallest things. I WANT to take charge of my life, my relationships, and my part in this world. I want to be fully aware of what I am doing here, why I am here, and where I am. This can only begin when I stop taking things for granted...
I think that's enough mindfulness for now. I look forward to this journey throughout the rest of the book and throughout the rest of my life (but, most importantly this very moment) taking into consideration these thoughts and principals...mindfulness is something we could all do with a little bit (or a lot) more of.
I have only read through the first few chapters so far, but I just want to share some of the points that I feel are extremely important for me to remember (and you can feel free to remember them too if you'd like!):
1. "If what happens now does influence what happens next, then doesn't it make sense to look around a bit from time to time so that you are more in touch with what is happening now--so that you can take your inner and outer bearings and perceive with clarity the path that you are actually on and the direciton in which you are going?" (p. xvi)
I think this is especially important for me to remember, and something I currently struggle with. I am so caught up in planning the "perfect" future for myself and for those that I love. BUT, if I take time to think and concentrate in only the "here and now" won't that automatically lead to the best future? I think it will-since every moment predicts the next moment. My first goal: live in the now, it will lead to the best possible outcome.
2. "When it comes down to it, wherever YOU go, there YOU are. It's YOUR life that is unfolding" (p. xvii)
This is so true too! I believe I said something along these lines when I was describing the title of this blog (altogether separate)...maybe I could write a book and make the big bucks ;) It is MY life that I am living-only I can truly know what I think, feel, believe and know.
3. "[Mindfulness] is a way to take charge of the direction and quality of our own lives, including our relationships within the family, our relationship to work and to the larger world and planet, and most fundamentally, our relationship with ourself as a person...It is the direct opposite of taking life for granted" (p. 5).
My second goal: to strive to not take life for granted. I believe it is something we are all guilty of-even it is taking for granted the smallest things. I WANT to take charge of my life, my relationships, and my part in this world. I want to be fully aware of what I am doing here, why I am here, and where I am. This can only begin when I stop taking things for granted...
I think that's enough mindfulness for now. I look forward to this journey throughout the rest of the book and throughout the rest of my life (but, most importantly this very moment) taking into consideration these thoughts and principals...mindfulness is something we could all do with a little bit (or a lot) more of.
28 March 2010
Dancing
I'm confident that dancing (especially if it's to 80's music) clears the mind of all troubles.
27 March 2010
Everyone
needs a little love in their life, a little sunshine in their day, and a little Starbucks to start their morning ♥
25 March 2010
Blessing in disguise
I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and it is all a part of God's plan. So everytime something doesn't go the way I want it to, I force my self to remember: It is all a part of God's plan for me. And things wouldn't be going the way they are if it wasn't part of his great plan. I do not know if this is the way that other followers of God interprut life and God's plan, but it is certainly how I interprut it. Without this faith in knowing that everything happens for a reason, I don't know if I would make it through life without having a major meltdown. I tend to stress about the little things, but when I get out of control, I simply tell myself, it is all a part of the plan and everything will be okay. What if I didn't have the ability to tell myself this? I would be a wreck! It amazes me how people make it through life with little or no faith.
Anyway, back to blessings in disguise. Sometimes when things don't go your way-look at it in a different light. Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise. True, it is hard to use this philosophy on traumatic events, but it can apply to most minor life mishaps. For instance, I was REALLY hoping that I got a good vibe at one of my informational interviews, because it was the one that I really wanted. I wanted to be in the LC Valley for the summer, spending time with Casey, playing on the river, attending our church, etc. However, I was less than impressed. Professionalism and organization at the agency was not good and what my duties and responsibilities would be are just not what I'm looking for. So, I was bummed. Then I turned it around-perhaps it is a blessing in disguise? Because, God has a plan for all of us, and everything happens for a reason.
So I got to thinking about the benefits and advantages of moving back home for the summer and doing my internship there. I recognized many benefits that I hadn't realized before- I would get to spend time with my family during my last summer home (probably), I would be able to take my old job up again, I would get paid for some of my internship, I would have duties and responsibilities that I am more passionate about, I would get to spend time with my long time friends in Joseph, and maybe moving to Missoula would be a smoother transition (going from home to Missoula will probably be easier than going from Casey's house to Missoula).
I'm just reminded by this little incident that everything happens for a reason-and maybe somethings are blessings in disguise. (Reminds me of that country song where he runs into his high school crush and remembers how much he wanted to be with her, but then realizes that "some of God's greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers" because if he had been with that girl, he maybe would have never met his wife!)
Anyway, back to blessings in disguise. Sometimes when things don't go your way-look at it in a different light. Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise. True, it is hard to use this philosophy on traumatic events, but it can apply to most minor life mishaps. For instance, I was REALLY hoping that I got a good vibe at one of my informational interviews, because it was the one that I really wanted. I wanted to be in the LC Valley for the summer, spending time with Casey, playing on the river, attending our church, etc. However, I was less than impressed. Professionalism and organization at the agency was not good and what my duties and responsibilities would be are just not what I'm looking for. So, I was bummed. Then I turned it around-perhaps it is a blessing in disguise? Because, God has a plan for all of us, and everything happens for a reason.
So I got to thinking about the benefits and advantages of moving back home for the summer and doing my internship there. I recognized many benefits that I hadn't realized before- I would get to spend time with my family during my last summer home (probably), I would be able to take my old job up again, I would get paid for some of my internship, I would have duties and responsibilities that I am more passionate about, I would get to spend time with my long time friends in Joseph, and maybe moving to Missoula would be a smoother transition (going from home to Missoula will probably be easier than going from Casey's house to Missoula).
I'm just reminded by this little incident that everything happens for a reason-and maybe somethings are blessings in disguise. (Reminds me of that country song where he runs into his high school crush and remembers how much he wanted to be with her, but then realizes that "some of God's greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers" because if he had been with that girl, he maybe would have never met his wife!)
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