Realizing

that I am almost half way done with my last semester of college was quite eye opening for me today.  Time has flown by-especially this past year.  The real life is just around the corner, ready or not, here it comes...

I believe

in pink, I believe in kissing, kissing a lot...and I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. --Audrey Hepburn

i love

this crazy tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful beautiful life :)

Loaded choices.

There are so many loaded choices that lie ahead of me in this journey I call life. And by loaded, I mean that the decisions that I make at each fork in the road will affect all aspects of my life, will impact many people, and will influence future decisions I have to make.  The fact that there are so many that lie ahead is both frightening, and exhilarating.  I am excited for what is to come, and love looking at the various possibilities, but at the same time, one wrong move could affect the rest of my life.  Choose wisely, I guess!

What to do this weekend, where to do my summer internship, which graduate school program to attend, where to own a house, which job to take, who to marry, when to have children and so on and so forth are some of the many loaded choices that I foresee in the future.  All I can do is live my life, do what makes me happy, and the rest is up to fate, God, and humanity.

Relaxation

is hard sometimes.  I finally have some time alone, with little school work, and it's actually hard to just sit here and take time to myself to scrapbook, read, take a bath, etc.  I can take time for myself in little segments, but when I have almost a day and a half to myself, I don't know what to do!

This is something I would like to work on.  I don't need to have others constantly around me, or to be continuously doing school work.  I need to take hours at a time (if time allows) to sit down, and do virtually nothing-or something I enjoy such as reading or scrapbooking.  In this always on-the-go culture I feel like we are conditioned to always be busy.  "You're lazy if you sit around", yadda, yadda, yadda.  When we sit around and have alone time is really the only time when we can truly be ourselves and become more in-tune with our inner thoughts and feelings.

Alright, now it's time to turn off the computer...and relax...ahhhh.

Giddiness

After almost 8 months together...I still get giddy and excited everytime I get to see you.

I think this is a good sign-- Because this is similar to the feeling I get everytime I get to see my mom, dad, or sisters. I get so excited about everything I want to tell them, everything I want them to tell me, and about being able to just be with them.

For me to share these same feelings about my partner and best friend is something I honestly feared I would never get to experience. I am so blessed.

Difference

We are all so different.  As I am reading the third book for my Representations of the Holocaust class, I am continuously reminded of how fundamentally different people can be.

 How could a person (or group of people) kill over 6 million men, women and children? I can't stop thinking aboutt it...

Communication

I am always amazed at how many people lack basic communication skills...and it makes me wonder, why is that?  There are various professionals, students and individuals who are not able to communicate what they want, how they feel, what they need, when to meet, what to do next, where to go, how to do something, etc.  Communication is a basic function of life-with good communication all things are more likely to go well.  With a lack of communication, things are likely to not go well.  It's a simple as that-but so many are incapable of effectively communicating.

I'm not sure how  fix this problem or why it even exists.  Is it because we are Americans and are super busy-or is it a problem in all cultures? Is it because some people lacked an environment growing up where communication was supported and encouraged? Is it because some people are so caught up in themselves and completely unaware of the negative effects that their lacking skills have on other people? Is it because some people are scared of putting themselves out there? Is it because some people lack time management skills as well-so simply "forget" or don't have time to communicate? Who knows-but perhaps next time I am interacting with someone, I will make sure to communicate (express myself as well as listen) effectively so that we can both move foward. 

Exploration

Today I explored and researched various places that I can possibly complete my summer internship--Building Healthy Families (Enterprise), Early Head Start (Clarkston), Idaho Department of Health and Wellness (Lewiston) or the Community Action Agency (Lewiston).  From this I learned that there are so many agencies out there striving to help individuals of all backgrounds succeed in life.  It was really heartwarming reading about all the programs and services that these organizations offer--all the way from assisting with home weatherization or electricity bills to reading to young children to providing nutrition activities and classes for parents of young children. 

As I strive to become a professional in the area of promotion of health and prevention of disease, I learn something new every day...and it just confirms that health and wellness is the field that I was meant to be in. I continue to get more and more excited about my summer internship and experiences and my journey in graduate school---

Appreciate

the little things in life. They often mean the most.

holidays
a cup of coffee in the morning
yellow cake with chocolate frosting
a warm blanket
eggs with steak for breakfast.

What a nice way to start a President's Day morning...

Altogether separate

I feel like this phrase is pretty self-explanatory, but just in case I'll explain what I mean by it.  Altogether separate.  I am going through this journey called life with so many people that I love and care for. I have deep relationships with my mom, my dad, my sister, my boyfriend, and some of my friends.  We are ALL experiencing this journey...together, in a sense.  However, I am still separate.  Nobody else knows what my experiences in life have felt like. It is MY life, and everyone else has THIER life.  Sure, many people have graduated from college.  But nobody has grown up in my small town, lived up with my family, been friends with my friends, worked where I've worked, completed the classes I've completed, been dumped by the boys I've been dumped by, and so on and so forth--you get the point. 

So, we are all on this journey together, yet we are all separate.  Kind of an oxymoron--but it definitely fits the situation.  Altogether separate.

Valentines day

Dear people who dislike Valentine's Day,

Please don't ruin it for the rest of us. I understand your reasoning, but if I want to spend a day with my Mr. Amazing and have a lovely time, then I will, and I'd appreciate your understanding too! Thanks!

Sincerely,
A first timer when it comes to Valentines

Sensitivity

is an interesting concept.  Things that don't phase me one day, might really upset me the next.  Perhaps it is my mood, or the way my day is going, or just the way I receive the information.  However, personal attacks almost always upset me.  I don't do well with them, I never have.  I don't think anyone ever SHOULD know how to deal with them well.  With tha being said, I know that I just need to remember to take them for what they are--in the grand scheme of things, they don't mean much.  Maybe the attacker was having a bad day-I should forgive them.  Maybe the attacker didn't realize what they were doing-I should forgive them, but maybe not be around them as often.  Maybe the attacker really does not know that saying something to personally attack another person is disrespectful-I should forgive them and probably surround myself with more respectful people.

I think that one good thing does come from being personally attacked...and that is that I am reminded to try my hardest to not personally attack others.  It is beneficial to nobody--and there are much better ways to deal with having a bad day or whatever.  Just some things to think about...

the best

feeling is getting stuff crossed off my to-do list.

P.S. Steno notebook found-thanks Casey.

i've been

missing my black steno notebook for a week and a half now. i had been writing EVERYTHING down in it.  it was something I could use to keep all of my notes together and in order.  i wrote down things we discussed in lab meetings, what I was supposed to do next for the systematic review, reading response questions for class, and even names and numbers of housing options in and along the way to Missoula.  i've looked everywhere, so I'm not sure where it could be.  it must be a sign. perhaps a sign that I was maybe being a little TOO organized and just needed to relax a little bit. who knows.

i love

witnessing happiness.

photographs.

peppermint white chocolate mochas...especially those shared with friends or my mom.

clean sheets.

being with you.

graduate school update

last week I was excited-and slightly shocked-to recieve a letter from OSU saying I've been accepted into their Masters in Public Health-Health Promotion program.  after meeting with a faculty member last November, I was less than optimistic about my chances.  obviously, it was in God's hands, and he took care of me.

now I'm awaiting a decision from University of Montana.  this program is entirely different than OSU's--more focused and more individualized.  only 3 new graduate students are accepted each year-for a total of 6 students in the department.  the only thing I can do is wait and pray and stay positive! so that's what I'm doing! ...and I'm sure Casey is too.

Blogging!!

So, I'm new to this...could be very interesting! There is so much to say and I figure what better way to say it than through a blog? Motto for the day: Just Breathe.