Thankful

With Thanksgiving a little less than a week away, I am reminded more than ever to count my blessings and to be thankful.  While I strive to take less for granted on a daily basis, it is hard to be faithful about this practice.  So first of all, I am thankful for holidays such as Thanksgiving that encourage us to remember to count our blessings, to be thankful, and to take less for granted (because we all need a little help now and then...) So here it is, my list of what I am thankful for, Thanksgiving 2010:

1. My health. Common answer for a Community Health graduate student, perhaps. But nevertheless, so true.  Without my health, I would not be who I am today.  Encompassed with the idea of health comes access, education, safety, security, belonging, ability, confidence and many others...for all of these, I am thankful, grateful, and blessed.

2. My family.  Without them I would not be here-literally, emotionally, mentally, socially, physically. Period. Love them to death.

3.  My Casey.  I thank him weekly (should be daily) for being by my side as we go through this journey called life.  Without him, I don't think I would have found myself yet.

4. My friends. Good friends, bad friends, new friends, old friends, long-time friends, short-lived friends...you all have made me who I am.  Thank-you for making a presence in my life.  You have given strength, wisdom, humor, humility, esteem and beauty-tips that I will carry with me the rest of my life.

5. My laptop.  This gives me connection to the outside world when I am spending endless hours in my bedroom doing homework, or simply being a hermit.

Probably a cliche "I am thankful for..." list, but it is mine.  I know I left off countless blessings, things to be thankful for, and things I take for granted, and to them, I am sorry.  Perhaps next year you'll make the official list, but you will always be in my heart, and I will always be grateful.

External

sources of motivation.  I'm constantly reminded that I unfortunately have very little internal motivation.  I rely almost solely on external motivating factors.  Why is this? I don't know. If I had the answer, I would surely change it.  I spent weeks attempting to write and work on a twenty page research paper, with little success.  As soon as the weekend came and I knew I had to finish it in order to enjoy my Thanksgiving holiday and to have my amazing mother proof-read it for me.  So, wha-la! After a few hours cozied up in my warm bed with my laptop, numerous journal articles, and a nonfat white chocolate mocha (yes, despite the horrible weather conditions [see below] I ventured out to acquire my necessary caffeine fix) nearby, my rough draft is miraculously (almost) finished.  

I've tried faking external sources of motivation like telling myself last week that I had to get it done in order to enjoy the weekend with my friends in Spokane...but somehow my brain knew that I would still have a great guilt-free weekend even if I did not get a single sentence written on that paper.  How does it do that?!?!

Nevertheless, it is what it is.  I will continue to try to find internal motivation (I don't know how much longer I will get by with such low levels :/), I will enjoy my Thanksgiving holiday, and my mom will graciously proof-read my research paper.

Current weather

Temperature: 19 degrees

Temperature with wind chill: Negative 1 degree

Wind gusts: 30-35 mph

Air: dry, Dry, DRY!

Precipitation: Intermittent hail and snow showers

Welcome to Montana.

Friends

I do not know how I would get by without the help of my friends...

...had a fabulous weekend in Spokane (and surrounding areas) with Casey, Kale and Kari.  Talking, reminiscing, wine tasting, martini bar discovering, eating, shopping, talking, laughing. It's been decided that it is not okay for us to live more than two hours apart...hopefully in the future we will be able to see each other more than every nine months! <3

Christmas prep

I finished my book review...so I rewarded myself by spending time sewing...and I finished the first of two Christmas stockings that I'm making.  I will reward myself with more sewing time to finish the second stocking after I finish my research paper.  (That might be another week or two).

Future

I know, I know...I strive to live in the moment.  I really do try, and I feel like I do it successfully.  That being said, worrying about the future and looking forward to the future are two different things in my mind.  (Buddha reminds us to "not worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wholy and earnestly.")  Looking forward to minor things that will occur -- and can only occur -- after finishing graduate school is good for the soul.  It gives me little pleasures to look forward too, and it is the little things that make life worth living.  So, here are the first four items on my list of things I hope to acquire shortly after finishing graduate school:

a gray kitten

a chocolate lab puppy

a cute couch or living room set

a snazzy car...yeah, it's okay to dream big

Is that too much to look forward to? Definitely not. Remember, it's the little things...

Mini Get Away

Casey and I visited Joseph over Halloween weekend and decided that it was a perfect time to hike/walk up Hurricane Creek to Slick Rock.  I had never went as far as Slick Rock, and Casey had never been up Hurricane Creek at all, so wha-la!, we have ourselves a mini get away.  It was peaceful, enjoyable, and even a little bit romantic as we walked along the creek and sat at our destination listening to the water pour down the rocks.  Here are just a few pictures to document our morning...

Quick photo opportunity...the ring that says it all.

Hurricane Creek...I think. It seems narrow in this picture.

I'm thinking that's Sacajawea in the background...but I need to brush up on my Eagle Cap Wilderness knowledge.

There it is...Slick Rock

Priorities

I could be writing a book review, writing a 20-page research paper, starting my biostatistics homework for next week, or even reading for class...

...OR, I could start making Christmas stockings and a tree skirt with the material I just bought at Jo-Ann's fabric after searching for just the right ones for an hour and a half.

I think I'll choose the latter.

Drama, bullying, and tears

Being friends with my sister and some of her junior high friends on facebook allows me to take a look at what goes on in their lives.  I am constantly reminded of my junior high days...all the drama, relational bullying and tears are so sad.   In my health promotion class we discuss and debate the importance of kindness, patience, and being non-judgemental and how these factors can influence our health and the health of others. Some believe it, others do not. But if this is true, junior high girls are setting themselves and their peers up for defeat. 

I truly hope this is a phase for them (as it was for some of the girls in my class), but I would imagine that some of them will carry on those personality traits with them through their whole lives.  This leads to even a stickier debate....where are these behaviors learned, and whose responsibility is it to "teach" the "correct" behaviors.  These are questions that will potentially never be answered.  Personally, I believe that it is the role of the parents to socialize their little munchkins into "model citizens."  But I have seen even the best parents might raise "little bullies."  So should the responsibility also lie in the school system? Maybe they ignore the bullying, therefore perpetuating it.  Or perhaps some teachers are modeling the bullying behavior....I remember one like that.  The cycle of blame can go on and on...bottom line is that it needs to stop.  Many girls out grow it, but some do not, and it is these girls who I hope I don't ever irritate or anger :)

Glimpse

I spent part of my long weekend (I had Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday off) in Clarkston with Casey.  I worked on school work during the days while he worked and at night we made dinner together.  If this was a glimpse of what our future will be like, I'm in love.  We had the greatest time :)