29 December 2011

Part 4

Here it is...the gap between Part 3 and Part 4 of this graduate school adventure. A lull. Feels so strange. I have forgotten what it is like to have little to do. I feel so lazy! There are little things I could be doing to prepare for Part 4, but right now I am enjoying laziness. I am reading books for fun, watching movies, cooking, baking, snuggling with June...ahh. It does get boring, but sometimes it is nice to just be "bored."

Part 4 will come and go like the crack of a whip. At least that is how Part 3 seemed to go.  Fall semester was a whirlwind...but I guess I said that about the first two semesters as well.

I look forward to this semester: an internship, one course on campus (Ethics with my favorite, Dr. Burns), one course online (Epidemiology...should be interesting to say the least), and my professional paper project (the infamous mentor walking program for homeless women). Mix in a few TA and RA responsibilities and its bound to be a wild 15 weeks. Can you believe that...15 WEEKS?! Is that really it?! Holy smokes. Then its off to the "real world" (as if I haven't been in the "real world") where I get a job, Casey and I wake up, go to work, come home eat dinner and sleep then do it all again. Sometimes that sounds very appealing, other times it doesn't.  But, it is our life, our adventure, and it, too, will be a "wild ride."

For now, I am enjoying the lull. And I will continue to do so until I head back east (to Montana) in a few weeks.

13 December 2011

Don't take it personally

"Don't take it personally" seems to be a lesson I need to work on. Why are people so mean and grouchy? I know it isn't because of me or anything I did wrong. It's just the end of the semester, and people are stressed, tired, and ready for a break. Nevertheless, rude attitudes seem to get to me. Blah. Life goes on!

29 November 2011

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

...kind of. Even though we had a short summer, fall has been extremely long and lovely.  Last year at this time we had already had several snowfalls and several days where temperatures reached well below zero degrees here in Missoula.  This year we have only had a few minor snowfalls and NO DAYS below zero.  Can you say "hot diggity?!"  It has been nice.  However, that means it doesn't really look like Christmas! And, that means that I am in a little bit of shock. I cannot believe that it is almost the end of the school semester and that Christmas is less than one month away. No joke, I have not even started my Christmas shopping. Granted, I am not doing a lot this year. My family is trying to get back to the real meaning of Christmas...the way it was celebrated before snuggies, department stores in giant malls, and ipods came along.  But, nevertheless, I cannot believe that December 1st is less than two days away. Some of it has to do with the weather, and some of it has to do with how busy I have felt lately. Literally, my days are speeding by, and if I don't stop to take it all in, they are gone and I am here in my apartment at night once again.  I don't even know where today went.

Anyway, school, family, friends, and Casey are all doing great. I won't go on and on about how busy I am and how much I miss Casey.  We are doing just fine, as usual. We cannot wait to spend the holiday break together, and we cannot wait until I am in my fourth and final semester here at UM.  In just a few short months we can relax in each other's company, we can argue about things that couples who live together argue about, we can do our own thing while still going to bed together every night, we can have friends over for dinner, we can communicate in person, and we can eat breakfast together. Ahh, sometimes it really is about the little things. We were just discussing in our car ride back from Joseph after Thanksgiving some of the positive things that have come from this living-apart experience (it really has been an experience, to say the least).  First and foremost, we believe that it will remind us not to take each other for granted.  We know what it is like to not have each other in times of need, and we have vowed to remind each other of this when we are getting frustrated, irritated, or annoyed with each other down the road in the years that make up our marriage.  I think that this is the biggest positive thing that has come out of our time apart. Sure, it will be an adjustment living together, but as we learn to live together and make our own routines in addition to our routine together, we will be happy. And happiness, after all, is what we are all striving for. I am happy now, very happy, but I am so excited to experience that happiness.

That is all-I won't go into graduate school details.  However, do stay tuned for a new blog... as Casey and I continue to experience new things (and the same things over and over again), I feel the need to blog about it.  So, I have recently created a "joint" blog where we will share our happenings and whereabouts for friends and families.  Both of us may partake in the blogging, however, Casey doesn't know this yet so we will see how it goes!

16 October 2011

Weekend is over.

I am finding myself currently having trouble motivating myself to complete schoolwork after another great weekend with Casey. After weekends like that I want to just: 1) hide in his truck so he will take me home with him, or 2) curl up in a ball and do nothing (or blog!).  So, I am blogging, and procrastinating with my school work, and counting down the days until the next time I see him (12 days). We had a great weekend together resting, dancing, eating, drinking, loving, wedding registering, cooking, deciding, and relaxing. I didn't want it to end, in fact, it ended much too soon. Now I have another two weeks before I get to look into those loving eyes again. I will obviously survive, but it is getting harder and harder, rather than easier and easier! Nevertheless, we are a quarter of the way through the school year already. So, Christmas will be here before I know it and then next semester will be completely crazy.  Then-it will be May! Deep breaths and one day at a time...just keep swimming!

06 October 2011

Not just another post...

This is not just another post about grad school (blah blah blah) or wedding planning (blah blah blah) or about how I miss Casey (blah blah blah). Although all of those things are still happening...the first two progressing quite well, and the last one still the same. However, I must say that it is getting better...the missing Casey part. We knew it would, but we just needed to get through that adjustment period.  I am quite content (don't get me wrong, I would love it if he was here or I was there, but that's not where we are at in our lives).

Anyway, what this post is really for is for myself (and you) to think about our words and our actions.  Do our words match our actions? Are we saying one thing and then doing another, or are we staying true to our word? Are we badmouthing someone for doing one thing then turning around and doing something very similar to what we were bashing? It is something to consider. I am fairly certain that I am guilty of above items, and I think that everyone is...to some extent. Sure, some people may be "more" guilty than others.  I have noticed this characteristic in others around me from time to time...and quite frankly, it is annoying and disrespectful.  I like to think that we are honestly not aware of it when we are acting in this way.  For that reason, this post is to remind ourselves to be more aware of our words and our actions.  There is no reason to be disrespectful of others' actions. Period. And another take home message for today is to just remember that everyone strives for happiness.  That means everyone! Deep down, that is what we all desire. It is a fundamental characteristic of humans.  Happiness might be slightly different for one person than for another, but it comes from the same place.

Happy thinking! And remember, there is no reason to be disrespectful. We all just want to be happy. (If being disrespectful makes you happy, you need to rethink the definition of happiness). 

25 September 2011

Beautiful

Avalanche Lake in Glacier National Park

 Casey and I at McDonald Lake in Glacier National Park

Beautiful wildflowers at Glen Lake in the Bitterroots

 Glen Lake

 Hiking buddies going to Glen Lake

Fall is upon us

Once again, fall is upon us. The weather is still warm on most days, feels almost like summer sometimes, but it was officially fall a few days ago.  I absolutely love all the things that go with fall...leaves changing, chili, pumpkin everything, crisp mornings, wearing scarves, etc...you get the idea.  It just makes me happy. I try to take time every day to really soak it all in, because before we know it, it will be winter again!

The first four weeks of school have flown by! Sometimes, during the weeks I feel like I'm dragging, but looking back, it went super fast. Funny how that works out that way. Now if I can only remember that in the middle of the weeks when I feel like I am dragging! Nevertheless, school and my projects are progressing. I'm enjoying classes.  I of course miss Casey, but we are doing our best to enjoy this time in our lives.  For example, the last three nights in a row I rented a chick flick out of the Red Box and watched it in bed. Now, those are things I can't really do when Casey and live together...at least not three nights in a row! And he is enjoying working extra hours (since I'm not there to come home to), and just got back from a "guy's" trip up the Snake River.  So, we are enjoying ourselves, and for sure remembering to live each day to its fullest. But, we sure do love the weekends we get to see each other! Last weekend we went to Glacier National Park north of Missoula. It was our first time making that drive, and it was absolutely beautiful.  Flathead Lake on the way up was magnificent, and huge! It is the largest freshwater lake west of the Mississippi River.  We stayed the night in Kalispell and ate a lovely dinner at a downtown restaurant.  Then Saturday in GNP we went on a short 2 mile hike in to Avalanche Lake, which was beautiful! This weekend I am planning on driving to Clarkston, and we have a quick trip to Joseph planned. I love the fall in Joseph, too, so I am excited to see it one more time before the winter snow falls. And, hopefully we will make it down to the Wallowa River Camp to check out what it will look like this time of year next year...on our wedding day!

That reminds me, just a few days ago we passed the "one year away" mark for our big day! I can't believe it! We have already been engaged six months...12 more months to go. It will be here before I know it, seriously. Luckily, most of the "big" planning is done: location, caterer, dress, etc.  Still some things, but we have a pretty good idea about everything else!

Today I went on a 3 mile hike to a lake in the Bitterroot Wilderness southeast of Missoula. That was also beautiful, and my grad school buddies and I had a great time. They sure were going at a fast pace, though! But very beautiful and perfect weather for a nice little hike. 

Back to my review of literature for my professional paper (I switched from a thesis to a professional paper).  It is so close to being done, I can't wait! Just a few more sections and a little more reorganization, and I will be ready to e-mail that bad boy to my committee chair!

02 September 2011

Happiness

On a brighter note, Casey and I had lovely engagement photos done by Josh Whiting Photography in Pullman, so I thought I would share a couple of our favorites!


Suck it Up

Sometimes you have just got to suck it up and do it. I keep telling myself I'd rather be in Clarkston, blah, blah, blah. But honestly, if I was in Clarkston, I would probably be telling myself I'd rather be in Missoula. I suppose that is just the way the mind works. So, I just need to suck it up, and get crackin' on my thesis! It will be a tough road, and I am sure that I will want to give up more than once. But, it will all be worth it in the end, and I will learn so much about myself, life, and helping others along the way. UGH, why is it so hard to just suck it up and do it sometimes?!

26 August 2011

I'm BACK!

Despite the anxiety, nerves, and upset stomachs, I am back and rearin' and ready to go.  Missoula is such a welcoming place, it is really hard to stay anxious for long.  There are so many unknowns with this school year, specifically regarding my thesis and thesis chairperson.  However, I feel motivated to kick it into gear and "hit it with my purse" (special thanks to program planning partner K. Hart for that little line--it got us through many tough program planning moments)!  Knowing that this is my last temporary transition for a while and that next summer I get to move in with my best friend (and marry him!) gives me all the external motivation I need! And, for you frequent blog followers, I am extremely motivated by extrinsic motivation. I also believe that my internal motivation is at an all-time high right now, I feel like I want to show myself that I can and will do this! And I will rock it!

This year will without a doubt be full of ups and downs, but a few potential "ups" to highlight are:

1) I will propose and defend my thesis.  This will potentially have many downs leading up to it, but after each presentation will be a huge UP! I can already anticipate the relief and sense of accomplishment that is to come.  Those feelings are more things that keep me motivated.

2) Wedding invitations! I am so excited to HAND-MAKE them and add mine and Casey's own personal touches.  This will likely happen over Christmas break, with the help of my family.  It may seem silly, but I really am excited.

3) Road trips back and forth to Clarkston and Missoula. While the actual drive itself is less than exciting anymore (especially in the winter), the feelings leading up to getting to see Casey and the feelings once I reach Clarkston (or he reaches Missoula) are quite exciting. I know that our relationship becomes stronger every other week when we see each other, as well as growing each day we are apart.  Distance not only makes the heart grow fonder, but it also improves our communication skills immensely! We like to look at the positives of our situation (there certainly are many), and that is one of the best. If we can communicate during these many transitions back and forth, I am confident that we can communicate through anything!

4) Visits from friends and family. I love showing off Missoula-it is a great place to hike, drink coffee, shop, eat, and hang-out.  I really can't wait until mom, dad, Nat and whoever else make it over to beautiful Montana. 

5) Courses- Health and the Mind, Body, Spirit Relationship, and Community Based Participatory Research are the two courses I am taking this semester, and they are sure to be amazing (just like all of my other UM courses).  The first one is pretty much the reason I started looking at UM, and the second one will give me huge skills that I will most likely use everyday in my future life and career.  Looking forward to both. I thrive in the classroom and off of researching for papers, writing papers, etc.  I am a nerd, yes. Also, this semester I will be teaching Stretch and Relax to 55 UM undergraduates.  I look forward to this challenge and being able to relax at least 2 hours every week in this class!

I think that pretty much sums it up.  Get ready for lots of highs and lows and I will keep you all updated as I can!

03 August 2011

Anticipation

Here I am again...getting ready to take a big step, move away for eight months, and attend grad school at UM while leaving my fiance, kitten, house, family, and friends in Clarkston/Lewiston and Joseph.  And here I am again, second guessing myself. Even though I am second guessing myself, as soon as I consider the alternative (not finishing/quitting/dropping out), I immediately "buck up" and realize this is what I want to do and have to do.  Ok, so I don't HAVE to do it, but in my mind, I do. I want to, and I want to show myself I CAN. AND, most importantly, I thrive on learning new things and it excites me when I think about the ways I could use this degree and my growing knowledge base to help communities and individuals.  So, when all of that is taken into consideration, it sucks moving away, but it is what I want. I don't want to leave everything behind, but I do want to go...talk about mixed emotions. 

These emotions are so similar to the ones I was experiencing last year at this exact time.  However, the circumstances are a little different. I am no longer worried about not knowing anyone, because I now have some amazing friends in Missoula (they are one reason why I am not dreading going back).  I am no longer worried about being in a new area, because I know Missoula pretty well, and absolutely love it. And, I am no longer worried about how Casey and I's relationship will survive, because over the past year we have grown 1000 times stronger, and are both more self-confident as well as more confident in our relationship.  We know that we can do it, and that we will do it!  However, I now am leaving not just a boyfriend behind, but a fiance. I am no longer just leaving my family and home in Joseph, but also my new home in Clarkston.  I am now leaving a kitten.  I now have the huge task in front of me of writing my thesis...which will consist of implementing and evaluating a mentor walking program in the community [Whew, that'll be interesting!].

Basically, right now, I am just a bottle of different feelings, both good and bad. But like I told the blogging world last year, I will of course make it though with flying colors...because there aren't any other options. There will be tears, laughter, joy, and fear...all part of normal human emotions.

[Let's not add the added task of wedding planning at this point :)]

11 July 2011

Norway in a Nutshell

While we did not do the "Norway in a Nutshell" tour that is offered by a travel agency in Norway, we did certainly get a glimpse of Norway over the course of our 2-week vacation.  It was absolutely amazing.  From the steep mountain peaks, to the narrow fjords, and from the small fishing towns on the Atlantic to the thriving Bergen metropolis...it truly was an unforgettable trip.  Words and pictures can't possibly capture the amazing-ness of this Scandinavian country.  And, perhaps the most amazing aspect of our trip was the rich and deep history of the country and all of its traditions, architecture, and landscape.  We saw things that have been there since the 12th century...keep in mind the Christopher Columbus didn't even find the Americas until the 1400s, so while the land was already inhabited before that date, there is very little (if any) written history.  Moreover, Oregon wasn't even made a state until the 1800s.  It was just crazy to think about and see the historic viking graves, ships, etc.

While Norway itself was amazing, it was also interesting to learn some more about myself and who I am as a person and a traveller.  I have always been aware that I am extremely introverted, in other words, I get my energy from solitude, myself, and taking things in.  This characteristic was highlighted on this trip! Not only am I an introvert, but pretty much my whole family is! We were perfectly content to take it all in, wander around, and kind of do whatever came our way.  Also, I don't know if this is part of being an introvert, or it just being our first time out of the states, but we wanted to see and experience as much of the country as we could.  We wanted to get up early and head back late.  While it was exhausting, it was amazing at the same time, and we were ready for it. Our tour guides (the wonderful Welle family), however, could be characterized as extroverts.  And it is also important to note that they are fairly experienced world travellers (much different than our family), therefore, they have seen more than we have (especially of Norway), and didn't really want to spend all day out and about.  This didn't become an issue really, it was just interesting to note the differences. 

I could go on and on about this trip...but that would take a while! I'm looking forward to putting together my photos and journal entries to have a scrapbook of this amazing trip.  But, that will have to wait until after my thesis and wedding planning gets under control...

08 June 2011

Little corner

In seven short days I will step out (more like fly out) of my sacred little corner of this world into an entirely different corner.  As my family and I prepare to embark on our first family outing together in quite a long time, I am not entirely sure what to expect.  I know without a doubt that it will be a trip full of memories, delicious food, and great experiences.  I mean, how could it not be? Two weeks living with a Norwegian family in Molde, Norway is sure to be different than my life here in Clarkston, WA.  While I whole-heartedly love my little corner of the world, I am absolutely and incredibly ready to experience a different culture, a different lifestyle, and a different little corner. I can't believe it has taken me 23 years to get out of my little corner...but better late than never!

Depending on how this goes, I could become a world traveler; or, I could get back stay in my little corner forever! Only time will tell, and I look forward to sharing the stories of my adventures either from Norway or from my tiny Clarkston home when I return.  Until then, take care!

03 June 2011

September Twenty-Second, 2012

We have a date, ladies and gentlemen....mark your calendars for September 22 of next year.  It's the BIG DAY!


Wedding planning has been progressing at an enjoyable pace.  I love that we have over a year until the day. We are focusing on enjoying the engagement phase of our lives, without rushing into the big ceremony, reception and all that goes along with it.  Nevertheless, wedding planning continues.  We checked out a few ceremony/reception sites in Joseph last weekend, and are actually having difficulty deciding between the two!  We're leaning toward one over the other, but keep going back and forth in our minds! Whichever we choose, we know it will be beautiful and special. It has been fun thinking about ways to make this day super SUPER special for not only us, but for all of our friends and family!

Summer (almost)

Here it is...the moment I look forward to every year...SUMMER! It's been a rough week in the L-C valley and up on the Palouse, but it's finally Friday and it is beautiful outside. Perhaps summer is finally here!

I've been readjusting (yet again) and acclimating myself to life here in Clarkston.  It's been tricky as usual, but we are finally settling into a routine and leaving time for some fun stuff in between! It is very interesting living with someone for an extended period of time, even when you've been together for a few years.  However, I think we are adjusting quite nicely.  We are noticing that we both have our little pet peeves, i.e. he hates it when I leave the toilet lid up, and I hate it when he leaves his cereal bowl by the dish washer.  But if that is all I can complain about, then I think we'll continue to be just fine. It is also different adjusting to both of us heading off to work in the morning.  Of course, this is life, but it is not something we have experienced before. Traditionally, because we only got to see each other on the weekends, we would be able to get up and spend the day together doing whatever.  That is not the case in the "real world!!"  Casey has to pry me out of bed, we eat breakfast, get ready, then head out the door by 7 a.m.  By the time we're both home around 6 p.m., it's time to eat dinner, relax then do it all again! But, it is a routine, and therefore I thrive on it.

So, as I was saying...summer. It's been summer break for over 3 weeks now, but it officially got underway last weekend as Casey and I headed to Wallowa County for Memorial Day weekend and the Pre-Car Show BBQ.  It was a tad rainy, but fun nevertheless. Most importantly, I was able to enjoy some delicious Arrowhead chocolates and white chocolate mochas.  Mmmmm. 

The rest of the summer has plenty of fun things in store for us as well.  Yakima for a friends Graduation party tomorrow; Norway; Relay for Life; Casey's birthday; 4th of July in Joseph; Williams Family Reunion in Baker City; Chief Joseph Days; a trip to Seattle to see friends; Bronze, Blues & Brews; and trip to Missoula to move and see friends.  Intermingled will be several hours of work, wedding planning, thesis preparation, and hopefully a trip to try on wedding dresses! Whew. By then it will be end of August and time to move to Missoula and re-adjust to a "new" life again.  There is our summer in a nutshell, stay tuned for all of the fabulous details and Norway highlights!!

08 May 2011

Free time?

I don't even know what to do with myself.  Program planning was my identity for the past three months, and now that it is over, I am having a bit of an identity crisis! Okay, so not really, I'm enjoying it a lot, but it is weird.  So, with all my spare time (when really, I could be studying for finals or packing) I figured it was the perfect time to catch up on my blogging!

I can't believe I haven't shared the details of our engagement yet.  It is probably the only time in my life (besides my 18th surprise birthday party) when I have ever been truly 100% surprised.  I'm pretty intuitive and am able to sense things that are out of the ordinary.  However, somehow, I didn't see this one coming at all.

It was a brisk Saturday morning at the end of March (can't believe it was over a month ago!!) and Casey was in Missoula for the weekend. We had a great dinner with Kelly and Emily (friends in the HHP department) the night before and had planned for the last week or so to walk up to the "M" that overlooks Missoula on Saturday morning.  So, we wake up Saturday morning around 7 a.m. and Casey is ready to go.  When he asks if I am ready to hike the "M" yet, I say "no, let's wait till it warms up a bit." In hindsight, this should have been a clue! Since when does Casey want to get out of bed and start hiking at 7 a.m?!  After a little lounging and a call from Casey's sister in Italy, we make our way to the "M" trail.  We head up the trail and I stop every-so-often to catch my breath and take in the beautiful view.  Casey, ever-so-patiently, stopped when I stopped and also took in the view.  Upon reaching the top, I take a seat on the "M."

This next part all happens in about 5 seconds: Casey pulls me up, gets down on one knee, asks me to marry him, I say "is it real!?" and "are you serious!?" and "did you ask my dad!?" (I can't believe I asked if it was real).  After a convincing yes to each of the questions I threw his way, I reply with a "YES!"  It happened so fast, but I still remember it as if it just happened. I remember how I felt, I remember the look on his face, I remember his exact words.  It was priceless.  And I was completely surprised.

As the day unfolded and we walked back down the "M" trail, Casey told me the details of how he went to Joseph the previous weekend to ask my dad for my hand in marriage, stayed the night with my parents in my house, bought the ring the night before in Missoula (he told me he was heading out of Clarkston an hour after he had already left so that I wouldn't know), almost blew his cover when I called him while he was in Joseph, and almost gave it away by carrying a bulging ring box in his gym shorts pocket up to the "M."  I love replaying the story in mind.  The rest of the day was full of good food and friends. We spent the day together messing around in Missoula and then went to our favorite restaurant in Missoula to celebrate- the Red Bird Wine Bar.  Delicious food. We met up with my friend Emily and some others for dessert and then went out dancing at the Union Club.  March 26th, 2011 is certainly a day I will never forget! I am blessed to be engaged to my best friend, and couldn't be happier!! Without further ado...here are the pictures of our special day.

The newly engaged couple.

So excited.


 He did such a great job picking it out. I couldn't have picked out a prettier one myself!


27 April 2011

Crazy Ride

I wish my blog was somehow connected to my life...then you could really get a sense of what is happening on my crazy ride called life.  I know that my situation is not unique; obviously, others are busy, too.  But, for the first time in my life, I feel a little bit out of control. That is, until I take moments like these to sit down and just...write (I have in fact been doing a lot of writing these days, but not this type).  First, I want to just regurgitate it all out there...this is what I've been up to the past few weeks:

developing program strategies, writing evaluation plans, looking at wedding dresses, apartment hunting, teaching class, grading papers, loving Casey, celebrating my golden birthday, car shopping, setting up a summer job, planning for summer trip to Norway, visiting waste water treatment facilities (ew), drinking coffee, researching Mongolia, discussing environmental health, working on wedding guest list, picking a wedding date, counseling a client for a health behavior change, making posters, blah blah blah, and sometimes...sleeping.

So I missed a few things, and sure, lots of you are like, "well, I do all those things, too."  I just want to say: I commend you.  It is crazy; but, I am thriving and loving it.  It also felt good to get it all out there.  Now, here are the top points, in more detail:

1) WEDDING! This has been the topic on my mind.  It creeps in while I should be working on other things.  It consumes my life basically.  But boy, do I love it! I have always been a tad obsessed with all things wedding.  And once I met Casey and we fell in love (yada, yada, yada!), I began to think that maybe, just maybe, a wedding was in my future.  I am thoroughly excited to spend forever with Mr. Tuschhoff.  And we have been in love with this process.  I will be even more in love when I can ogle over wedding books without feeling like I should be doing something different (i.e., working on schoolwork).  Casey is super excited for our Joseph wedding as well.  No date has been set-but keep September of 2012 open :)

2) Program Plan. In six short days, this process will be behind me...and ahead of me in that I will be planning health related programs potentially for the rest of my life!  But this class project has been a whirlwind of experiences, emotions, and trials.  Far too many to get into on this post.  But, next Tuesday, Kelly & I will be presenting our program plan, colloquium style, to our class. We believe we are setting the bar high.  After determining the quality of life issues, the health problem that relates to them, the behavioral and environmental factors that relate to the health problem, and the predisposing, enabling, and reinforcing factors that influence the behavioral and environmental factors (all via surveys, interviews, focus groups and research with the target population, their gatekeepers, and secondary data), we have developed a comprehensive program to combat the identified issues. Introducing "Walking on Sunshine," a multi part program incorporating a mentoring walking program, new workshops, social celebratory gatherings, incentives, and a social marketing campaign.  Whew.  It feels good to be so close, and really, we are quite proud of our hard work.  Fingers crossed, this program plan will carry over into my thesis experience in that I will be able to pilot test a portion of our planned program, and then evaluate it. 

3)  Golden birthday. I have been waiting for this day since one morning in my adolescent years when I heard Paul Harvey on the radio talking about "golden birthdays." It is the birthday when your age is the same as the date.  Thus, my golden birthday was April 23rd, as that was the day I turned 23.  Nevertheless, it was not all that it was cracked up to be-just another birthday! But it was still lovely.  My parents made the trek to Missoula.  We enjoyed copious amounts of delicious local foods, shopped, and my mother and I even peaked at wedding dresses (gasp!).  I missed Casey, but know that he made the right decision to stick close to home to spend more time with his sister who is in the Air Force in Italy (she was home on leave for just a little over a week). 

That's enough.  More details will come this summer as I hopefully have more time to free-write! And of course, wedding details will be shared as they come up!

(P.S. Just about 2 weeks until I am finished with my first year of graduate school!! CRAZY!)

10 April 2011

Check!

I can already check two items off of my list of things to do before my 200th blog post.  Saturday of spring break I met my dear friend, Jessica, in Kennewick, WA for a night at Thompson Cellars Winery and Bed & Breakfast.  We had an amazing spa treatment, shopped, ate delicious food, and drank delicious wine. Lots of red wine, to be more specific.  So, check off, stay at a B&B, and drink more red wine. Although, I do hope to do these two things more over the next year or so.

Back to school work... I promise I will be a better blogger this summer.

29 March 2011

Engaged

Some of you may know already, but...WE'RE ENGAGED!  I was totally shocked, and it still hasn't sunk in yet.  Wedding planning will begin as soon as I am out of school for the summer, but I can promise that the big day won't be until at least summer of 2012.

Stay tuned for details about the proposal, ring pictures, wedding blog, etc.  I would love to tell about it now, but the biggest exam of my graduate school career is later today, so I think I will use my time wisely.

19 March 2011

Vegas in a nutshell...

...crazy, wild, loud, refreshing.

I flew from Missoula last weekend to meet Casey and his friends who were spending five days in Vegas.  I was only there for about two days, but nevertheless, I got a good view of what Vegas was all about.  It was absolutely a crazy and wild place...on the strip anyway.  There are always people walking around, drink in hand, and more often than not, dressed quite sparsely.  We honestly had a great time, but I will not be booking a flight back anytime soon.

The first destination was Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville for dinner. After waiting an hour to be seated (during this time we enjoyed our first $9.00 Margarita), dinner was quite enjoyable. And of course, there was a show while we were eating that consisted of a lady dressed in basically nothing dancing on a large ship and sliding down into a large drink.  Interesting to say the least.  After that we decided to keep walking down the strip (our hotel, the Riviera was at the far north end of the strip).  We watched the light and water show in front of the Bellagio, had a guy do magic tricks for us, splurged and bought the huge tourist slushy drinks (and felt quite sick afterwards), and checked to see if the Lions were out at the MGM (they weren't).  By that time we were exhausted after our day of travelling and taking in the first sights of the strip.  We decided to make our way back to the hotel.  Little did we know we had walked about three and a half miles down the strip.  It was late, we were tired and full of sugary drink, and there were hundreds of people out walking around...not to mention, we did not have appropriate shoes on.  After finally making it back, we all hit the hay...exhausted.

I don't think I can go into that much detail about the next day because if I did this might be the longest post ever.  Needless to say, we saw A LOT of Vegas in a short amount of time.  Highlights included visiting the wax museum, visiting a huge Forever 21 store in a huge mall, walking along the strip with a drink in hand, seeing a GREAT comedy show, dressing up, and just spending time together...all 8 of us.  It was great.

My last day there I made my way up to the Stratosphere.  It was a beautiful view, but I was feeling a little dizzy being up there.  I am not a fan of heights. Mid-afternoon it was time for me to head home.  Everyone else spent their next two days relaxing by the pool in the glorious weather and seeing more of the Vegas strip. 

Possibly the best part of the trip was getting to know Casey's closest friends even better...Josie, Josh, Brian (and girlfriend Erin), Bryce and John.  I really do love these guys, and I know we will continue to get to know each other even better as the years go on.  I would love more than anything to go on yearly trips with this group of friends.  I am so glad they (most of them) still live in the valley...where Casey and I plan on eventually living together.  I know we have lots of fun times ahead of us!

25 February 2011

100th post

In honor of my 100th blog post I am doing a post a little different than usual. 

The following list represents the 10 things I am going to do between now and my next 100 posts.  These are not things that I usually do or have done before.  While I think comfort is great, I know that I want to push myself a little bit outside of that bubble.  Not too much...but a little bit.  These are not being done to prove myself to anyone or to grant the wishes of others that I become more out-going, extroverted, etc...because I cannot change those things, nor do I want to.  These are for solely my satisfaction (and maybe the satisfaction of those around me who will also reap the direct benefits).  So, before I reach my 200th post, these are the things I will do:

10.  Visit a foreign country or two. My family and I are scheduled to visit Norway in June of this year.  My first time in any place outside the United States (not counting a trip across the border to Tijuana, Mexico).
9. Go para-sailing.  To some this sounds like a relaxed and fun day on the lake.  For me, this will be exhilarating and a possible "just peed my pants" moment.  By no means am I a fan of water or heights, but for some reason, the thought of doing this kind of excites me.
8. Bake mini chocolate souffles.
7. Visit Yellowstone National Park.  It is SO close! I need to go before my time in Missoula comes to an end.
6.  Spend a night in a bed and breakfast.  I did with my  mom and sister when I was younger, but I would love to relax and eat a delicious breakfast with Casey or a dear friend.
5. Experience more red wine.
4. Snowshoe.  I've said this for a while and it could still happen this winter. 
3. Propose my thesis for graduate school.  This WILL happen (unless I get blog-happy and crank out 100 more posts in the near future), but who knows exactly when or what the topic will be...that is my goal for this summer to decide. 
2. Spend a summer in Clarkston.  I have been waiting to do this since this time last year.  And I think it is finally going to happen...I feel Clarkston has potential that I just need to discover.  We have become closer over the years, but it still hasn't convinced me it is the town for me.  I'm giving it another shot.
1. Plant a garden that thrives and produces wonderful and juicy fruits and vegetables.  I plan on starting seeds in a month or two!

[Side note: as noted, some of these aspirations are already planned, others not, and I will keep my vast audience of blog readers updated as I go!]

23 February 2011

Breathe

Taking a second to take a deep breath.  I thought that writing a blog post was a good excuse to take a breather.  Between the weather, a needs assessment project for women who are homeless or in transitional housing, three other classes, a long distance relationship, the snow, a behavior change plan for an undergraduate student, instructing a beginning fitness class for 30+ (some not so motivated) students, some papers to grade, a weekend girls trip, ordering dissemination materials, looking up various state's HIV testing numbers, and the weather...I'm about spent.

I'm not looking for sympathy or judgment, just using this as a place to get it all out there and go on with my day.  It is six in the evening and still on the plan for today is Zumba, studying for tomorrow's exam, reading for tomorrow's discussion class, and getting a good night of rest.

That was a great deep breath and I actually feel a little rejuvenated...Hmm.

16 February 2011

Independence vs. Loneliness

The two words have completely different meanings, but as I travel through this chapter in my life, the two notions often overlap or become interrelated.  I am certainly becoming more independent in the simplest sense of the word.  I now do things on my own- not always by choice, but because its the situation I am in right now.  I am here in Missoula, away from my closest family and friends.  I am going through this journey in this specific place independently.  That does not mean that I am going through my life independently, because that certainly is not true, I have many loved ones with me on that journey.  But in this specific journey in this specific place at this specific time in my life, I am alone.  I do have friends and acquaintances here in Missoula, but they have their own lives.  Their lives and mine have not completely integrated...yet.  I still have another year hear and I imagine I will be come closer with all of them-maybe even integrate myself into their lives.  In sum, this is an independent journey.  I am learning to be my own motivator, care-taker, and opinion maker, whereas before, I often relied on friends and loved ones to help motivate, offer their opinions, and we took care of each other.  That is what I mean by independent.  I view it as a good thing, and as a way to learn valuable life lessons that will become increasingly more important as I age, mature and blossom. 

Loneliness.  Not to be confused with independence, as mentioned before, although I feel that they can often tangle themselves.  Well, they don't tangle themselves, but they get tangled in one's mind. Loneliness refers to being alone or in a state of isolation.  Often, my independence feels a little lonely.  As I mentioned, I have many friends and new acquaintances here, but none that I feel I could call on a Wednesday night to share a glass of wine or a good laugh with.  This often leads me to a feeling of loneliness, even though sometimes I view my ability to get through that Wednesday night without a major breakdown as growing independence.  See how they can often become interrelated.  I try not to isolate myself-I love hanging out with people and relaxing, but it is tricky sometimes.

In a nutshell, by my book, independence can come from placing a positive twist on being alone, and vice versa: loneliness can come from placing a negative twist on independence.  This is why I try to view life and my experience here in Missoula with a positive attitude, otherwise, I could fall into the deep whole of loneliness rather than learning to be independent. 

As a side note: With successful independence comes the maturity and intelligence to know how and when to integrate others into your life.  For example, sometimes when I have been in Missoula for a few weeks and then see Casey again, I have to relearn how to go on my daily life with another individual to share it with.  I think we are both learning this.  We adjust to our lives without the other one in close proximity-as we should, otherwise this long distance thing would never work, we'd be on the phone or on the road 24/7, and we would get nothing done.  So as a coping strategy, we've learned to be a little more independent and adjust.  This makes getting back together every other weekend tricky.  It takes some readjusting, as I mentioned.  This continuous adaptation and built resiliency is what will allow our relationship to thrive when that amazing point in our relationship comes when we actually get to live in the same town and/or house.  We will have learned to adjust, cope, be resilient, and be independent so many times-that any conflict thrown our way will be resolved with the blink of an eye (and a little communication).  I already see this playing out in our relationships, and is probably a big reason why we have little conflict.  We know how to adjust, communicate, and thrive.  OK, that was a major side note/tangent, but is something that I have been coming to terms with for several weeks now, and couldn't wait to get it out there.

13 February 2011

Winter

I really am a visual learner, so it is interesting to me why I don't post more pictures to tell my stories.  Maybe it is because my camera doesn't work all that well, so we rely on Casey's...or maybe it's just because I love to type endlessly, usually in procrastination of reading or studying or something (like now).  Regardless, these few pictures pretty much sum up Winter 2010-2011 (thus far)...holidays, snow, dancing, and baby June. Enjoy.

Grandpa John and Imelda visit from California

Beautifully decorated Christmas cookies.  A Williams family tradition.

Christmas morning...dressed for the occaision. Excuse the early morning faces.

Casey getting his groove on, New Years Eve.  It's his thing, and he does it well.  This was my first time EVER being out in public to ring in the new year.  Needless to say, counting down in a public place with several 20-something year olds is much different than counting down to the new year on the couch in pajamas.

Cuddling Baby June.

She loves her daddy... 

A little happy family. We really do love her. 

Beautiful Wallowa Mountains. Casey always seems to capture perfect moments.



12 February 2011

Weekly

I suppose a weekly blog update (at best) is all I can manage these days.  That will have to do for now.  In the words of the farmer from the movie Babe: "that'll do pig, that'll do." Yes, I really just quoted a farmer from a children's movie in my blog.  My ever so professional and eloquent blog.

Anyway, another week down, and honestly I do not know where it went.  I suppose it went into reading, quiz preparation, exam grading, ab-workout teaching, discussing, sleeping, etc.  As I mentioned how busy I was to my mom, her response was, "well, did you expect grad school to be a breeze?"  And I guess she is right.  I did not expect it to be a breeze at all, but they totally tricked me last semester! I rarely did homework on the weekends, and I had plenty of free time to play and drink coffee and visit with friends.  This semester, not so much.  Of course, I have done my share of all of those things, but they have not been quite as relaxing.  I obviously still have time to blog...  Nevertheless, I came here to go to school, and this semester that is exactly what I am getting.  It will be okay.

I do worry about the stress of all this on my relationships.  Not only on my relationship with Casey, but on my other relationships as well.  With Casey, I worry that it will be weeks that we go apart, and I worry that I will "forget" how life is with him...because when we're apart I start to adjust to life without him.  It hasn't happened yet, and I think when you're in love, you don't let that happen.  But I am a worrier, hence the worrying. Nevertheless, for all of you blog readers out there wondering, we are doing great.  Christmas break rejuvenated our relationship, and so far this semester I have been a "sain" human being, and Casey reports that he has been great as well (he also has June to keep him company).  Other relationships are at stake as well.  When I get stressed or busy, I withdraw.  I hole up in my room and decline invitations to go out.  Which is fine...but not for an entire semester.  I have tried my hardest to force myself to get out there, and thus far I have proven to be fairly good at it.  We'll see what the rest of the semester brings in that regard.  Lastly, I find myself calling my parents and sister(s) and other friends less and less the busier I get.  I do try my hardest to keep in touch...but sometimes we go a while.  I do know that they'll still love me when they see me again in May, though. That's comforting.

What was the point of this blog post? Who knows.  I guess to let all five of my readers know that it will be a busy semester and if you don't see blog updates or hear from me as frequently, don't worry, I'm (probably) still alive, I'm just swamped

04 February 2011

2 weeks

It's been two weeks since I left Clarkston and my amazing winter break to come back to Missoula to start out graduate school semester number two!  It's actually been really great.  I thought I would need some time to readjust...and actually the first two or three days were quite the whirlwind (probably because I didn't come back until the night before classes started), but after that, I felt fine.  And I still do feel fine.  Maybe my heart and brain have accepted that this is how things are right now, and I will get through everything just fine! Maybe that's my high emotional intelligence coming through...we discussed that this week in my Theories of Health Behavior and Counseling class.  My other first-year grad student peers (there are only three of us in a class of over 30) agreed that I would score high on an emotional intelligence assessment...and I think they would too.

A lot has happened in these two weeks:

  • I successfully was away from Casey and June without missing them TOO much.
  • I got a research assistantship raise. YAY!
  • I was put in a group for a huge program planning project, and we selected homeless women in Missoula as our target population.
  • I met my eager undergrads of Beginning Fitness, and they are so great.
  • I've started to budget my money.   Yes, I'm 22 and I have never kept track of my spending.  I figured it was about time.
  • I finished a novel about the cholera outbreaks in the 1800's in Europe called "The Ghost Map" for my Environmental and Rural Health class.  It was a good read...I would recommend it to anyone.
  • I met a new group of students in my Intercultural Youth and Family Development class...there are eight of us...we meet for 3 hours on Thursdays and talk about youth and family development issues, both locally and globally.  Very interesting.
  • I found out I am going to learn how to use a scantron machine...how exciting! I've had many exams graded by one, but never knew how it worked...so next Tuesday at noon, the learning will begin. I'll let you know how it goes.
  • I watched my first ever hockey game! It was alright...no fights.
  • I've reconnected with some Missoula and grad school friends after the long break.  Cheers!
  • I found out that a possible project for my thesis has the opportunity to get published.  Obviously, nothing has happened yet, but there is an evaluation out there that my advisor will be doing, and she asked if I would be interested in helping with it, and it has the possibility of being published.  I know that is vague, but that's really all I know. I will keep you updated.  I know it involves quality of life indicators with reservation communities and a community garden... :)
So, in sum, it has been a busy two weeks! Casey will be here later today, and we're looking forward to a weekend full of rest and relaxation.  Hopefully the next two weeks will be just as exciting, amazing, and fast :)

28 January 2011

June

Meet June. The new love of my life:

Unfortunately, our little bundle of joy who we treat like an actual human being, is living with Casey in Clarkston.  But she loves her daddy and he loves her, so that makes it a little more bearable for me to leave her for weeks at a time.  :)

22 January 2011

Cowboy Mocha

Cowboy Mocha [cow-boi mo-kah] n., a delicious pick-me-up and good-for-the-soul drink comprised of medium roasted espresso mixed with fine dark chocolate powder, fresh cinnamon and nutmeg and frothy steamed nonfat milk, topped with sprinkled nutmeg.  Serve in a brown mug in a Stonehouse coffee shop where great music is played for a more pleasurable tasting experience.

Well rested

I'd like to believe that I've rested up over my five week long winter break and am ready for the new semester...but only time will tell.  I have mixed feelings about going back.  Not because I don't love Missoula or I am not enjoying my classes...but because I am leaving my comfort zone, again.  I suppose I will feel this way after every long break back at home and in Clarkston.  I am a creature of habit, and do not enjoy climate change.  This break I have settled into the routine of waking up, checking my facebook and e-mail, checking various items off of my to-do list, baking, preparing meals, cleaning, walking, etc.  It's been nice.  I know it's not a feasible life to live forever, but it has become my routine.  I suppose I could say that I will fall back into a routine in Missoula, and of course I will, but it's obviously not the same.  It is different. 

I know I will adjust.  And then I will re-adjust when I come home for summer, when I go back to Missoula, when I come home for next winter break, etc.  But, this is what I asked for, and while it might be difficult at times (i.e. this weekend), it is what I deeply want and I certainly do not regret my decision.  Life is full of decisions, ups & downs, hard times, and numerous moments that take your breath away.  After I've had a few weeks to let this new change set in, I will be just dandy.  Such is life.

[Side note: If in this post I sound like I am still trying to convince myself that it will all be ok...I am :) Deep down I obviously know I will be, but that doesn't help the day-to-day anxious/nervous feelings!]

Apples

If someone asks you for an apple when they really want a 'fancy fruit tray with golden delicious, fuji, pink lady and red delicious apples all arranged in a pattern garnished with white chocolate and cinnamon'...why don't they just ASK for the 'fancy fruit tray with golden delicious, fuji, pink lady and red delicious apples all arranged in a pattern garnished with white chocolate and cinnamon'...?

I think that would make life a litte easier for all parties involved.  How the heck am I supposed to know that they wanted the 'fancy fruit tray with golden delicious, fuji, pink lady and red delicious apples all arranged in a pattern garnished with white chocolate and cinnamon' when all they asked for was AN apple?

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

03 January 2011

Resolutions

I like the idea of New Years resolutions. Lately I've been hearing a lot of whining about them, and I can see how they might not be for everyone, but it wouldn't hurt to step back, take a look at where you are in your life, compare that to where you'd like to be, and then make some plans (either in the form of definite measurable objectives or vague dream-ful goals) in order to adjust accordingly.  If you feel that resolutions are not for you, and that they are just pointless goals that end up making you feel worthless or like a failure, try making resolutions that you know you can accomplish, and that are more of pointers to remember for the new year...just an idea...not trying to coerce you into making resolutions. I personally know that there are some things I'd like to work on.  I know that by remembering these few resolutions, I might alleviate some stress in my life, thus becoming a little happier. (Because we all know I'm a stressful, unhappy mess, ha ha). So here they are, in no particular order, the things I'd like to adjust for 2011:

1. Watch what I eat. Cliche, yes, but so true.  I've noticed I am somewhat of an emotional eater...and I just really enjoy food. If I'm sad, I'll have some ice cream. If I'm lonely, I'll have some chocolate. If I'm happy, I'll bake some cookies. If I did well on an exam, I'll have a beer. If I am relaxed, I'll have some wine. So maybe that's an exaggeration, but you get the point. The emotional eating has got to stop. I cannot imagine what my body goes through when I eat like that.  I'm not going to deprive myself-because that's not what I do, but I will try to find a jar and contain myself.

2. Be less intimidated. I don't know what had me so intimidated last semester, but something sure did. I was afraid to be myself.  I still haven't figured this one out, and I've mentioned it in previous blogs, but I will continue to work on it. I want my classmates and professors at UM to know the true Emily Williams, and I don't think she's fully arrived, yet (although, maybe a little bit toward the end of last semester).

3. Trade some mochas and lattes for good old black coffee.  This is primarily to help my wallet. I drink black coffee at home and at Casey's and it tastes just fine...good, even. But when I'm on campus or driving by my favorite coffee shop/cafe I often find myself ordering a delicious white chocolate mocha or vanilla latte for sometimes a whopping 4 bucks!! That's like 30 bucks a week...120 bucks a month...too many bucks a year.  I could afford a trip to Hawaii with all the money I'd save! Yes, it has become a bit of a nasty habit, and do enjoy them ever so greatly, but I will try to cut back a smidge.

4. Read for pleasure.  This doesn't need adjusting...I do this just fine. But I wanted to add it, because it is one of my favorite things ever.

5. Spend more time with friends and family. This includes keeping in touch with friends from WSU/high school. I was AWFULLLL at this last semester. I feel so guilty and sad that I've lost contact with some of those girls (and boys) I was so close with...and I have nobody to blame but myself.  And I need to make a better effort to hang out with friends in Missoula who I enjoy spending time with (that means you, Caitlin). These friendships-whether near or far-are what will keep my ticking when the going gets tough, they will be there with me to celebrate exciting things, and they are great for when I just need to listen, or just need to vent a little.

6. Remember to see the good in others and be thankful for who they are. Some of my closest friends and family bear the worst of my "anal-ness" and for that I am deeply sorry. In 2011, with great effort, I am going to ease up a little bit. Everyone brings so many great stories, experiences, values, skills, and qualities to the table...that why in the world would I focus on what they DON'T bring?? I practiced this "strength-based" approach at BHF, and learned to love everyone around me a little deeper by looking at their strengths...but I noticed these past few months that that practice has faded.  I'm going to work hard to get that practice back into a habit of mine. 

I think that should be enough to keep me going :) 2011 is sure to be a whirlwind, just like 2010.  There will be countless more memories, laughs, friendships, tears, and stories.  I have a great year to look forward to-2 semesters at UM, a summer (hopefully in Clarkston), a trip to Norway with the family, trip to Vegas with friends (??) and many, many little things that mean the world.