Mixed Emotions

When I sit down to think about what I'm really feeling at this point in time...I get completely mixed signals.  I am spending my last full day here at home packing, cleaning, getting UM stuff together, and running errands.  All of that is fine, but it is bit sad to be leaving.  It truly has been a great summer full of fun times, great experiences and a little bit of sun.

And then I think of the reason why I'm packing, cleaning, getting UM stuff together, and running errands...and I feel excited, scared, anxious and nervous all at the same time.  I don't really know what to expect when I get to that first orientation or as I teach my first basketball class, or as I grade my first batch of papers, or as I talk to my advisor about my plan for the next two years, or as I write my first paper of graduate school.  There are so many unknowns...and I don't do well with that.  BUT, I am also excited to discover a new city (with the help of Casey and Holly the first few days!), excited to acquire knowledge in a field that I am extremely interested in, excited to discover more about myself, and excited to meet new people. 

And then I think of all that I am moving further away from.  Casey. Pullman friends. Family in Joseph. Joseph friends. New BHF co-workers/friends. 

These mixed emotions and back-and-forth excitement are playing continuously in my mind.  I don't think my mind will be settled until I get there and get into a routine...so for that reason I am counting down the days.  14 days until the routine begins.