Seriously, if I had the answer to this question right now I would be a millionaire. It really is the "million-dollar" question. It seems that everyone these days wants the answer to it. But, GAH! I don't know what I want to do. To all of you out there who have asked me this, it is okay, I don't mind the curiosity, but this obsession about the future becomes burdensome. I wish people would ask, instead, "how is graduate school, are you meeting great people from all walks of life, and are you gaining knowledge and different perspectives?" This is what I want to focus on...the present. The here and the now. The future is great. But it is obviously inevitable, so let's not worry so much about it. I will figure out what I want to do after graduate school when the time comes. Yes, some people do know what they want to do after they graduate (and I of course have a vague sense of what that might be), but hopefully they too are still living in the moment, soaking up the rich experience and all of it's glory.
Yes, of course I sometimes too get wrapped up in the future and thinking about where I want to live, what I want to do, when I want to start a family. But that will all happen on it's own...kind of. You know what I mean. What I mean is it is nothing I need to worry about right now. It is okay to have goals-and I do. But what is more important in many cases is those tiny steps that ultimately get you to the bigger goal. For example, in order to graduate with my Master's degree and eventually go out into communities to educate people on how to be "well," I must first complete this weekend's bio-statistics homework, host my dad and boyfriend as they visit me in my new city, grade 135 undergraduate multiple choice exams, and study for my ridiculously detailed anthropology exam scheduled for Tuesday. Tuesday is about as far in the future that I want to focus on...and maybe what I will be doing next weekend. That is far enough. The next weeks can be in the back of my mind, especially if what is coming up requires some planning, but in the front of my mind should be the here and the now. To be exact, my mind should be on this blog post. But because I have a little more space in the front of my mind...I will also include things like grading, hosting, and studying.
My mom gave me a card before I headed off to Missoula that says, "The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."-Buddha
This quote has stuck with me through these first six weeks in Missoula. Whenever I get caught up in planning or stressing, I remember that card from my mom, and my perspective (and sanity [what is sanity anyway?!]) returns. But I am human, and I have my moments as well.
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awww, this is so true emily! just today someone asked me what i want to do after i graduate with my masters and i was like "uhhhhh..." i don't want to wish away the here and now for the future, i just want to enjoy the present :)
ReplyDeleteEmily,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed catching up with your blog.
I had a thought to share with you - living in "the here and the now" is very difficult for many. Having information about a person, who is miles away, helps shorten the distance. Information fills a void and continues a long distance relationship. While answering the same question, that you may or may not have the answer for, can become overwhelming- people ask because they miss you.
Enjoy your dad and boyfriend.
I am thinking of you, Amy