Stronger

Not only am I gaining a valuable educational experience here in Missoula, but I am growing stronger, becoming more independent, and gaining more self-knowledge each and every day.  I spent the whole day doing things on my own.  Believe me, this is a big step for me.  I thrive in the company of others.  I have never been great at doing things on my own. That being said, I wouldn't consider myself "dependent."  I just like company.  I think that distinction makes sense.  But back to today...I went to the Farmers Market, grabbed a coffee, did some major studying, fixed dinner, and then watched a few movies with my roommate (yeah, this probably counts as company, but there was not a lot of interaction going on).  I missed Casey, of course, and wished I was hanging out with him and his family, but I realized today...that I can do this, and I will do this. 

Being on my own for just the past eight weeks has allowed me to learn so much about myself.  I am finding out more about what I want, what I need, and who I am all of the time.  I am so thankful that I am getting this experience to grow stronger and develop more faith in who I am before settling down into a marriage or a lifetime with someone.  I am so glad that I took this leap of faith for not only me, but for my future spouse and family.  I know that if I would have chosen the alternative, that I would run the risk of being dependent on someone else, and dissolve in a relationship because I wouldn't know who I really am.  This experience is giving me that opportunity...the opportunity to know the real Emily.  When Casey and I are fortunate enough to start our lives together in the same town, we will each have a strong sense about who we are, and we will know what we can give, what we want, and what we need.  All crucial components of a long term relationship, or a marriage for that matter.